Endometrial scrape behind, new job, & learning center/daycare ahead!

"Cha Cha Cha changes".....

Lets start with the bad and get it over with, the Endo Scrape. It sounds about as fun as it was! This cycle, since again it's our last, I requested they pull out all the stops. This included a scrape. In short, research has shown that it can increase the chances for implantation so I'm all for anything that increases our chances, even if it sounds about as fun as eating a pile of dog poop. The scrape itself wasn't too terrible since I was so distracted by the pain of them using a cervical clamp to clamp my cervix while they got the catheter in. Apparently she made four nice scrapes and we are all set! Frickin' miz. Good news is, we are one step closer! Next to continuing meds, and an US to confirm uterus looks good, we will be all set to transfer mid August! We transferred the end of August with our successful "Adlee cycle", so I'm feeling really good about it.  Come onnnnnn embaby!

Next up, job sitch! I accepted an offer from Zoll Medical last week selling LifeVest here in the Kettering area. No more 2 state coverage, hundreds of products to juggle (if they aren't on allocation or backorder) and selling direct again vs. through distribution! WOO HOO! The product is fabulous to boot; it's literally a life saving vest (a wearable DFib) for pts who have suffered SCD (Sudden Cardiac Death). Typically they await an implantable device, or at the very least for their medications to be regulated and effective, so this LifeVest is worn to shock them back to life if they become unresponsive. Pretty dang cool! It's a lot on my plate right now, but it feels really meant to be so I'm really excited to be closer to home and learn a new call point and product. 

Lastly, Adlee starts at her new "school", aka learning center/daycare/eventual preschool this year! Agh! #holdme  It was really hard to leave her in home sitter, but she is so social and in need of structure that I think this is going to be the very best thing for her. It's also nice that it's close to Blair's school and a lot of the coaches kids already go there. Sad that she's so young and already parting in some ways, but as hard as it is to see her grow up, in the same breath I just remind myself how blessed I am to GET to see her grow up. 

As we approach transfer month, and the awareness that our last shot at parents is upon is, the pressure and stress certainly feels HIGH. There was a saying I saw last week that I identified with strongly with this whole experience and it was something like, "Everyone thinks I have it altogether when really I'm walking around with the sock in my shoe sliding down my heel"....because EVERYONE can relate to that annoying, pesky, uncomfortable and distracting comparison. It's spot on for what infertility and these cycles feel like. I can't just unlace my shoe and fix my sock and move on, it's a constant nag that consumes you everyday, until it doesn't any longer. I'm afraid of what that will look like if this cycle doesn't take. When that sock is fixed, it means it's The End. Each time there's been more embryo. More hope. This is the finale and that scares me to death. 

God has blessed us with more than we deserve and we will forever be grateful for little Miss AJ, but it sure would feel perfect & we would feel complete if we were able to conceive and parent one more. So, all we can do is try and pray and keep putting one foot in front of the other. I know deep down that what is meant to be for our family will be, so I'm just trusting the process and trusting that it will work. At the end of the day I'm doing all I can, and that's really all that can be expected. 

COME ON AUGUST! Hoping it's a repeat of what August 2014 brought to us. Because it's turned out to be the most magical blessing of all....

XOX,

Andi

TAKE 3! {IVF that is}

Today officially marks my first Lupon shot, and the last and final (3rd) IVF cycle for us. The last round I was a nervous wreck when my meds arrived. I was anxious, and in hindsight I don't think I was ready. I also expected both to take or something crazy to unfold, and carrying twins after a high risk pregnancy the first time was always a possibility which TERRIFIED ME. Unfortunately (or fortunately), that didn't happen and we are now left with the one embryo! Our IVF batting average is 1 for 4 so far on this journey, so lots of hope for baby #5. It has always been our desire to have two children, so at least we have been halfway successful! Lots of prayers going up for this to be our second kiddo as we won't endure any other fresh IVF rounds to follow. Adoption has been tossed around as a possibility as well, but it's never a good idea to focus on your back up plan when you should be focusing on the plan at hand going successfully. So we will take this one step/day at  a time and see what unfolds for our little family. Any extra well wishes, thoughts and prayers are very much appreciated! 

Life with Adlee as a 2 year old is so much fun! This age is just awesome. Sure she has some toddler meltdowns from time to time and acts like a boss, but she is such a Mama's girl. I love that she's becoming more cuddly, and those hugs around the neck make my day. She is always looking out for me, loving on Nova, and has the kindest heart. Certain songs or commercials will make her cry, and every time there is a baby crying she's on high alert as to how she can make it better. It melts my heart and makes me even more hopeful that she gets to be a big sister someday soon! She's into dance parties, baking cupcakes, learning how to go on the big girl potty and loves gymnastics class. She's a bit of a mini-Momma if I must say so.....

We have a fun adults only trip to Napa planned for next week, so really looking forward to relaxing before I get back to some full throttle treatments. Since this is my last round, I've discussed with my doctor about pulling out all the stops. On top of Acupuncture per usual cycles, this time I'm adding baby Tylenol to the daily meds and also requested an endometrial scrape (Sayyy whaaaattt?). I know, I'm dreading it but anything to up the implantation chances! It's new, and there isn't alot of research released on it yet, but from what has been released, they say that by scraping the endometrial lining, it then signals the embryo to implant/repair the lining weeks to follow the scrape when transferred. Of course implanting is only half of the battle. The embryo then has to develop (yolk sac) and eventually have a HB, but it's a start! We shall see if these steps assist in a successful FET or not. 

I know at the end of the day it's all up to God. If this child is to be, He will breathe life into my womb and that's all I'm focusing on in order to stay sane. I'm doing all I can in regards to what I can control and if we are meant to have more, we will. If not, I will be heartbroken of course and need time to mourn yet another lost baby here on Earth, but I know that I'm a Mother of 5 little babies that were very much loved and wanted. I'm blessed to get to raise one of them and for that I'll forever be grateful! So here's to ROUND 3......I sure hope that all of my "firsts" as a Mother to Adlee aren't already my "lasts".  Please God let this be our next baby.

2 KINGS 22:19

XO,

Andi