How many of us play the 'shoulda, coulda, woulda game'...almost daily? I know I do!! "I should have went to the gym today" or " I absolutely LOVE her short bob haircut, I wish I could rock that' or "Man, if only I would have booked that trip to meet the girls in Vegas instead of worrying about what work/clients would say'....
I have officially come to the point in my life where I'm ready to take more chances. I am a very calculated person who doesn't take many risks. Not because I don't want to flip my routine/job/structure the bird & fly to Italy for a month, but because I'm just very practical. I'm so practical that I had a savings account in
college, and still play challenge 'games' with myself to see how much I can grow it in a months time (so adventurous let me tell ya, HA)! I work hard for the money honey, and I want to see it sitting in my bank account as I online bank every hour on the hour (why you ask? not quite sure). Well, not anymore! Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to go FREAK OUT & move to Singapore to bartend for the summer, although it sounds tempting, but as we move into a new year, I've decided that even something as simple as discovering a new craft or project, taking a wilderness stroll or jog, spending the day with my Minolta seeing things through a new lens or BOOKING the damn trip to Greece I've refrained from booking for a few years now!! As we build a house, understandably our savings account will diminish so I've pondered, debated & struggled (surprise) with what is the practical route; but I'm to a point where we'll never take that dream trip if we don't do it now. Especially because we'd like to start a family in the next year or two and then we'll REALLY never take our #1 Bucket List trip to Greece/Istanbul. So, although I don't mean freak out and drain the funds, I need to push myself to LIVE A LITTLE & break free from my practical restraints. We can always rebuild.
When you think about what made you happy as a little tyke, I believe that you discover what truly makes your heart soar, and what makes you your best self. I know we've all heard the question 'When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?', proclaiming that this is what you should be doing for a living now. I wanted to be a grocery store bagger because I loved the sound the beeping made & how they got to organize the items that went into each bag-HA--so, lets not lean on that theory 100%!!! However, what I think psychologists & the alike are trying to profess here is to listen to what made your heart sing as a child, and for me that was Adventure/Discovery. I loved to take walks in our neighborhood park & pretend I was cracking a big case, or play 'Detective' with my cousin Tiffany, looking in cabinets for clues and re-arranging the bodies of Transformers. I loved to sit on the skateboard & fly down the big hill of a street in our neighborhood or ride on the back of Jake's pegs on his bike. I remember the belly flips and how fast the wind blew by. I have always loved discovering new moves & ways to push my body to the limits with gymnastics (now fitness). One of my favorite trips of all time was our trip to Bonnaroo. Eight of us (I knew 3 of the people) jumped in an RV & drove to Manchester, TN for five days to live out of tents, pee in portajons, and bathe a time or two via milk jugs of water dumped from the top of our RV. Discovering new music & in awe of old; the energy & free spirit within myself soared! I enjoyed road trips with family (or friends in high school & college) where we just got in the car with a location in mind with no real time frame for arrival, we could stop wherever we pleased! Now, I'd panic at the thought of not calculating every discovery we
should take in along the way. When did this all change for me? I'm not sure, but I'm 100% certain that in 2012 I'm going to let my free spirit/soul child of a self run freely to any adventure that I can discover that will fuel my inner happiness.
In the poem 'Delirium' written by Lauren Oliver, 'I've been so used to thinking of what the borders are keeping out that I haven't considered that they're also pinning us in'.
What are you pinning within your happiest self? What is your word for 2012?
xoxo,
Andi
