Spending our first wedding anniversary apart wasn't ideal, although we celebrated the weekend before I left for my business trip in AZ. We of course utilized all of the technology platforms that i'm very thankful for these days (FaceTime, FB, cell, email) so it made it AOK. I mean, who wouldnt want to be sitting in a board room for 13 hour days instead of celebrate with the one you love? :)
People always told me throughout the years that things would change once I was married. That they "didnt know why, but it just, does". Yes there are challenges your first year married that you dont have to deal with adjusting to in years thereafter like merging bank accounts (ie: sharing money, which for someone who is on alert with my finances & spending was difficult to do). There are times where you want to strangle eachother and just throw the peace sign & go stay with a friend for the night vs. crawl back into bed and have to deal with it like a responsbile adult (ie: make sure you dont even brush against eachothers legs you're so irate let alone make up). HA! There are times you feel overwhelmed (during our coaching seasons when we only see eachother on Sunday's & are ships sailing through the night every other day of the week), but considering those are the only things I can gather up about the changes in the past 365+ days, I'd say the first year of marriage was an overall success! :)
We've learned to pick our battles pretty quickly and to take turns with who get's to win or raise their white flag. We dont criticize the other. When waiting at the airport for a pickup too long or when one person is overserved & the other becomes the parent. When spending time with friends over eachother & doing our own thing becomes necessary every now and again, it's all good in the hood. We make sure to brag on eachother as often as possible, even though it's probably never enough bragging.
Mostly, we think of our marriage to eachother as permanent. Blair will be with me until I die. Now that sounds obvious, but I think truly letting go of doubts in your head if awful conditions happen or if needs arent being met allows you to let go of the idea that marriage can be temporary. Yes, if found in a horrible situation divorce would be necessary, but going into this marriage Year 1 with escape somewhere in the back of our minds causes for unnessecary angst. We accepted the day of our marriage that he's going to stay with me and i'm going to stay with him, forever. We've learned in year one that we'll figure out how to make that work vs. living with the 'what ifs' and 'if whens'.
We are loyal and trustworthy which no doubt will be wind to our sails enough to at LEAST get me to a Year Two post ;) Year One we rented out our condo in the city & moved into my parents for a few months until our home build is complete (end of this month, THANK GOD). We both coached winter season sports allowing us to see eachother & barely catch up on the other persons life one day a week. We pulled ourselves away from our everyday comfort zones & found everyday comfort in one another. Honestly, there is no doubt in my mind Blair & I will celebrate many, many more years. Frankly, we're too competitive, stubborn & in love with eachother not to.
I may not like him everyday, but I always love him. Strangely, more & more as I did the day before. To me, that's the biggest change that I would sum up to people as my "I dont know why it changes, but it does" response. As I sit here concluding this post, I get a text from Blair (who's downstairs) that says 'Downstairs ironing shirts, Love You Today Monkey'.
See? ....reason #7 today that I love him more than yesterday......
xox,
Andi
