Heavy Hearted

It is with great sadness that I have to announce the passing of my sweet stillborn nephew, Finley Ray. My sister was 21w pregnant with him when she called me Monday morning to tell me she was en route to the hospital having contractions. She has a child already so of course she knows what contractions feel like even though I tried my best to pep talk her through the drive with "it could always be Braxton Hicks.... are you sure? Hmm, perhaps it's just ____? Well, lets just stay as calm as possible until we know". When she parked the car, her water broke so we all knew it wasn't going to be good. Once they got an US to her, there was no HB. Meanwhile, I'm sitting at my high risk appointment in the waiting room waiting for my US to check the vasa previa conditions, bawling and heartbroken for my sister. This just CANT be happening I thought...there has to be some kind of mistake. Unfortunately, there wasn't. 

For the past month my sister felt like something was wrong because she had been bleeding daily. Like, fill a maxi pad daily kind of bleeding, not just brown spotting. She had been to the ER, her OB and MFM several times at which everyone told her that she just had a "small clot" she was passing. Then it was a Subchorionic Hematoma, which essentially lead to the demise of the baby. Until the baby is mid 20s in the weeks of it's gestation there isn't much they can do if you go into pre- term labor as it cannot survive in even the NICU. So, they just kept monitoring her. Well, God had other plans for her, Finn and our family because Monday her placenta ruptured and a stillbirth of Finn was the result. They don't know if he passed Saturday or Sunday but I'd like to think it was Sunday when family and friends were not only celebrating Baby A at my family shower she attended, but also excited and filled with love and hope for Megan and Paige's pregnancies. My sister in law who lost her daughter, Angel Baby Josie last June to HLHS + Trisomy 18 and also had to deliver her stillborn, is expecting again and is only 2 weeks behind my sisters former due date in July. I'd like to think Finn was surrounded with love when God decided he was needed in heaven. 

I went to be with my sister during her delivery as I couldn't bear knowing she had to go through it without me there to support her. At 28 weeks pregnant myself, I know the smartest thing may have been to avoid witnessing such a horrendous sight and traumatic experience, but my sister is the rock in her marriage and her husband is an emotional wreck. I knew she needed someone to hold her hand who could stand strong and omit as much strength as possible through her somehow to get through this. I tried my hardest, but of course there's no way to hold back the tears and hide the pain with something so so tragic. She passed a blood clot larger than her placenta before Finn arrived, and her ruptured placenta thankfully expelled vs. having to do a D&C. We got to hold Finn, at just under 1 lb and he looked like a mini version of her older son, with my grandpas nose that her and I also share. I wish I could say that at 21w they look peaceful & normal, but they don't. I'll never be able to erase the memory from my mind, but I'm so thankful that I know that I met him and got to see what an Angel on Earth looks like. I was able to snap some pictures for them of the first time they got to see him and the picture says 1,000 words. She was thankful to have it so I'm thankful I took a second to step back and document his arrival in body, but long gone in spirit. 

Rest in Peace our sweet Angel, Finley. I know you'll be watching over me and "Baby A" the rest of this pregnancy, and that I'll get to hold you again in a happier time in place. Auntie loves you. 

XOXO,

Andi

Eat in Kitchen Banquette - Weekend Project!

Let me just tell ya, this is pretty dreamy everybody. When we built the house, the only thing that came to mind for this open space off the kitchen was a reading nook/sitting area and/or an eat in kitchen banquette. It turns out, it can be used for both (and I also may or may not bring down my laptop from my home office and work from here in the future). It's view is of the back yard/open field nature preserve and the views are much better than the grey wall in our second guest room slash office. This room is right off our kitchen and flows into our living room whereas our dining room is right when you walk in the front door. It's a little more private which is nice for special events, but in the end, I think we'll use this eat in space daily. We have bar stools and seating now in the kitchen on the islands we eat at half the time but there's something scary about the vision of a bumbo chair sitting on a swivel stool that just doesn't sit right with me ;) 

I think I've taken 100 pics of it, and now sit on the couch for my coffee just to have view of this pretty new addition. I'll be hanging the deer/elk antler light fixture to bring in the rustic element to the room I love, and I need to have a custom bench pad made + add lots of colorful cozy pillows. There will be two chairs added on the non bench side and some curtains over the sliding back doors when I find the fabric I like, but all of that aside, the biggest {hardest part} is DONE! We loved the one I built in the nursery so much that we figured we'd do {and by we I mean me-- ugh, my husband is NOT handy} one in our eat in kitchen + a bench door to lift for storage. I figure this way, when people come to visit I can shove all the kid toys into the hutch, out of sight, and make my main floor look like it has it's shit together ;) Genius eh? 

I did learn my lesson here though. My sciatica hurt so bad after 8 hours working on this Saturday that I couldn't even WALK. No joke, I put myself on bedrest at 6:30pm and didn't MOVE again until Sunday at 8a! Lord, never again. I'm accepting help from here on out b/c that ish was PAINFUL. My mind is still working at the pace of a non pregnant person toting around 25 additional pounds. 

Here are some before/during/after pics. I'll update once we have it put entirely together, but I'm allowing myself a few months leeway to get the rest done :) It's such a simple project, if you have interest feel free to ask for the 'how to', I'll share!

BEFORE : BORRRRING

DURING!!!

AFTER!!!

elk/deer fixture will replace this one

2 of these bad boys will be facing the banquette: love love love! 

If you have any great fabric sites or drape sights you've had luck with for pillows and seating and such, I'm open for suggestions. But, the vision is slowly but surely coming together. Hope you all had a fun, relaxing and productive weekend as well {sans sciatica pain}!


XOXO,
Andi

26 weeks + happenings lately!

My bestie had a baby!! World, welcome Weston Henry Garee. What a babe! I spent the night with their precious family the other day and just love lovin' on both Evelyn and Weston, and Mama too of course. SO happy for this beautiful, completed, family of 4! 

Also, my good friend Liz had her sweet son, Graham & boy is he a doll. Babies, Babies, Babies! I see many play dates in our near future with these studs. 

I hope you're not sick of all my baby posts as of late but I'd rather journal here than actually write in a book. I promise I'll have a non related baby post coming soon as our contractor is building a beautiful, dreamy eat-in-kitchen area + banquette for us and will be done this weekend. Agh! Pics to follow. 

Without further adieu....

Maternity Clothes/Clothes: Current struggle? Trying to find something attractive and trendy to wear for maternity pics this month ... meh. Wanting to look like this.... 

When everything I try on makes me feel like I'll look like this instead.....

Weight Gain:  25lbs, yep you read that right. Holy crap. Now that i'm on pelvic rest I'm obviously not getting the exercise I need to burn these cals, and/or baby had a serious growth spurt but I'm packin em' on people! Oh well, baby is coming 5-6 weeks early so lets hope it goes to the babe as it should. 

Stretch Marks: None yet! Thank G. That's all I need .....

Movement: Moving NON STOP... twinkle toes up in hurrrr. 

What I'm loving:  Applesauce, Apples, Cinnamon Apple Sauce.... this kid may or may not come out an apple. Hmmm, maybe that's what Gwen Paltrow was thinking!?! Also cereal, peanut butter and jelly sammies..... so basically lots of sugar. And my glucose test is tomorrow, woopsie. Just add it to my tab!

Sleep:  Miz. Cant breathe, all stuffy, feel like Shamu the Whale every time I have to roll over, which is often. I feel like I'm digressing back to my first trimester in many ways. How does that happen?

Things I miss: Red wine.. like, the ability to drain the whole bottle. HA! 

Energy: Dragging. The congestion at night and trouble breathing impairs my days to follow. I really didn't expect this to happen so soon. Also, I keep saying "so soon" in statements like I just said and Blair corrects me immediately to follow. "Andi? So soon, really? You're almost 7 months pregnant". Which brings me to my next point: I'm starting to feel a bit of denial about all of this. There is a baby in my stomach. There is a baby coming home forever with us in mere months. There is a baby in my stomach.... these thoughts are present now whereas they weren't before. Not that I'm not ecstatic to meet our sweetie after the long hard journey, but that doesn't mean some life altering shock isn't present as well. 

Workouts:  Ugh. I miss them terribly. All I'm able to do now is walk. At a normal pace. I went to the gym and did 2 miles on the track and kid you not, 70 year olds were lapping me. It wasn't pretty. I've never been more ready to KILL IT at the gym however, so perhaps this hiatus is what I needed to re motivate ;)

Symptoms: " No air air.... tell me how I'm 'sposed to breathe with no air air".... -Jordyn Sparks

Next Ultrasound, 2/23: Last U/S showed that my cervix had lengthened a bit (thank you God!) so they gave me 4 weeks until my next appt, at which point I'll be coming in every week and admitted at any time from there on out. Still hoping and praying for 32w before I'm locked up.... but all is looking great right now, so just trying to Carpe Diem! :)

Honestly, I think when this is all said and done I will look back and say that I had a really enjoyable pregnancy. With the added VP stress and of course it being my first time, there's alot of uncertainty but I've loved carrying this sweet babe even if it's a bit uncomfy from time to time. Feeling your little human move inside you is truly a treat that I'm thankful to feel each and every day.

Xoxox,

Andi

Going going, back back to Bethesda, Bethesda.....

Last week I not only met my favorite nurse from the facility center (Flo) for lunch to catch up on life & my pregnancy, but I also braved stopping in to see the entire staff the following day. I do a lot of work in the area, and at my discharge 6 months ago they all told me to "stop in to let them rub my big belly sometime". So, I figured I was finally ready to see all their smiling faces (as was my ever visible & growing belly). It seemed so surreal to be there... with a baby kicking inside me. 

Walking into the waiting room immediately filled me with feelings of guilt. It was like everything was in slow motion. I was holding my coat in front of my belly, very aware of all the eyes from the women undergoing treatments glued to it. I was hoping to omit as many vibes of hope and love from my body as possible to each and every one of them, remembering what it felt like when I sat in their same shoes. I was shouting in my head "I've been there, I know how it feels!! Don't lose hope!", all while wanting to give them all great big bear hugs. I remember Mother's who didn't have sitters for their kids who brought them along to the appointments, or were also stopping in for the ol' belly rub. It was SO HARD sitting there wondering if I'd ever get to be that person, and it's so surreal now that I am. There's really no way to explain it. How it feels to walk down the hallway each day you're there for treatments and see all the smiling baby pics from successful patients. Seeing flyers for the "reunion cookout" with the staff and everyone's children and families. You are so happy for those people who made it to the other side, but you have NO idea if you'll ever be one of them. NO idea if your time, efforts, money, etc will pay off in the end. I never really understood PTSD until now. Even when your life is very different, you can remember those moments & thoughts so vividly.

On one hand I felt like I was walking back into a familiar, homey space. Seeing all the faces of the clinicians who walked the walk right along with me (hell, 2 of which were literally in the room when my child was 'conceived'). And on the other hand, it felt like I didn't belong there at all. My ship had sailed, and I was past that point in my life. Then I remembered my remaining precious embryo the next door down. And the thought that hit me the hardest is that I will be back here again, for round 2 eventually. Lord help me! Ha!! The struggle is real folks!

Although I had my doubts along the way with Dr. H, I have a love towards him now that is unlike any love I have felt before. As far as Dr. Warikoo, the embryologist goes? Well, ya'll know how I feel about him. He is the absolute best in the US. I can't say enough about both of their talents that lead both myself AND my sister to have conceived under their care. If you care to take a gander at their specialties and talents, see below. Amazing how I once wanted to kick that sweet smiling face of Dr. H's after my overstimulated cycle, and now I just want to pinch his cheeks off! :)

If you are struggling to conceive and looking for a center to provide in your care, this one is it. I have referred many a now Mothers here and truly feel blessed to have had these docs on my side. They made what is the hardest journey so far in my life a bit more tolerable.

Glen E. Hofmann, MD, PhD, FACOG

Medical Director, Bethesda Fertility Center
Director, Bethesda Division of Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility

Respected by colleagues for his expertise in both clinical and academic settings, Dr. Hofmann also is recognized by patients for his individualized attention and compassion. He is passionate about offering patients the most advanced infertility technology available for the highest possibility of pregnancy and parenthood. Click here to view curriculum vitae.

Dr. Hofmann is an award-winning researcher whose work has appeared in numerous journals, contributing to improved industry practices in such areas as ovarian reserve screening, ovarian stimulation, growth factors, frozen embryos and embryo quality effects on pregnancy rates. Under his leadership, the Bethesda Fertility Center has accomplished numerous area firsts, including:

• First tristate center to achieve fertilization of a human egg with ICSI (intracytoplasmic sperm injection)
• First tristate center to achieve pregnancy with blastocyst transfer
• First tristate center to achieve pregnancy using sperm aspirated from the epididymis

Board certified in reproductive endocrinology and obstetrics and gynecology, Dr. Hofmann has more than 50 peer-reviewed published articles and 2 book chapters to his credit, covering all aspects of reproductive medicine. His expertise has been recognized by media ranging from local papers to “NBC National News.” He has participated as an infertility topic expert for varied online media, and print and broadcast media regularly seek him to provide comment surrounding infertility issues.

Dr. Hofmann has trained and worked at two of the leading institutes in the world for assisted reproductive technologies. At Mount Sinai Medical Center in New York, he practiced for more than three years, contributing to its reputation as one of the most successful egg donation programs in the United States. He did his subspecialty training at the Jones Institute for Reproductive Medicine in Norfolk, Va., where the first IVF baby in the United States was conceived. Dr. Hofmann completed his internship and residency at the University of Cincinnati in obstetrics and gynecology and also holds a doctorate in biochemistry.

As a nationally recognized expert in infertility, Dr. Hofmann has served as an ad hoc editorial reviewer for such publications as American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, Biology of Reproduction, Fertility and Sterility and the Journal of The Society for Gynecologic Investigations. He has been named a “Best Doctor in America” by a peer-to-peer professional-rating organization and consistently receives “Top Doctor” recognition by Cincinnati Magazine as well as “Best Doctor” honors from Cincy magazine.

Pradeep Warikoo, PhD, HCLD

Director, IVF/Reproductive Studies Lab

Dr. Warikoo keeps the Bethesda Fertility Center on par with leading centers in the country by offering the newest industry technologies in the .Reproductive Studies Lab As an example, through steady development and improvement of the blastocyst transfer method, which uses a more mature embryo, Dr. Warikoo made this breakthrough technology a standard for the center's IVF procedures. Click here to view curriculum vitae.

Dr. Warikoo continuously researches advanced technologies to offer patients the latest in treatment options. His accomplishments include:

• First center in Tristate to achieve pregnancy and live birth using frozen eggs, providing more options for cancer patients and women who wish to delay starting a family.
• First Tristate center to announce successful pregnancy using IVF and preimplantation genetic screening and the first to achieve live birth with preimplantation genetic diagnosis
• First Ohio live birth using hamster zona (egg shells) to freeze single sperm cells – a breakthrough treatment option for men with extremely low sperm counts
• First intracytoplasmic sperm injection pregnancy in Tennessee
• First testicular biopsy pregnancy in Tennessee

Board certified by the American Board of Bioanalysis to direct high complexity laboratories in andrology and embryology, Dr. Warikoo received his PhD from the University of Delhi, Delhi, India, and his master's from the University of Kanpur, Kanpur, India. His experience includes: director for the Reproductive Biology Lab at the Southern California Fertility Institute; senior embryologist at Saginaw General Hospital's IVF and Andrology Lab; and prior to Bethesda, associate professor of embryology and director of the IVF and Andrology Laboratory, which he initiated, at the University of Tennessee Medical Center's Department of Obstetrics & Gynecology.

With extensive published articles and 2 book chapters to his credit, Dr. Warikoo's research continues to impact the field of infertility in such areas as micromanipulation, oocyte maturation and freezing, blastocyst development and embryo freezing. A recognized expert in his field, Dr. Warikoo has secured more than $1 million in research grants from the National Institute of Health throughout his career and is an ad hoc reviewer for the Biology of Reproduction and the Journal of Andrology.

XOXO,

Andi

Coming to Grips with VP

Another month blurring by, and I'm not even mad about it. I'm finding myself living Saturday to Saturday, each big pregnancy milestone on the What to Expect When You're Expecting App calendar flipping to the next week (yay!). Only 12-13 more weeks until we get to hold our baby! Shower dates are being confirmed and the weeks keep on passing by. I pinch myself daily. I really still feel like I'm standing in the kitchen with my bestie Steph, looking at that pregnancy test with 2 pink lines saying "wait, what? wait... wait, what?". Even though my belly is growing and those punches and jabs are getting stronger inside everyday, it still hasn't really fully sunk in. I'm not really sure when it will.....

This Vasa Previa thing had me all shook up at first. Don't get me wrong, some days I feel like I'm a ticking time bomb but I truly feel deep down that our God is not a cruel God. He's gotten us this far and I 100% believe he isn't going to fail us now. In the beginning, when I took my first beta post IVF my numbers were low. Very low. So low that one pregnancy test said negative and the other said positive. Even that moment was one of limbo and waiting for the next drawl to double. The next didn't double, but it did increase, so the third was the determining factor to this being a viable pregnancy and not just a chemical one. Talk about pins, needles and prayers people. I hate to admit that I did have doubts then that it would be viable. You see, I had to stay in this "middle ground" keeping myself steady for so many years of infertility procedures that even when I told Blair we were pregnant after that first beta, it was followed with "but the number is low, so lets not get too excited just yet... just in case". I tried my hardest to enjoy that moment that we had waited for for SO LONG & we did enjoy it don't get me wrong, but throughout this journey I've had to consciously make an effort to carpe diem, stay steady, stay strong. There has always been a hurdle to jump and this Vasa Previa is just another one. 

I'm at high risk MFM weekly to monitor my cervix and to make sure it doesn't shorten at all at which point they'll admit me. At first the idea of hospital bed rest shook me to my core. I can't think of anyone who would be excited about checking into a hospital for 4-6 weeks. But the further along I get I'm beginning to see that it'll be for my own good, and at least I'll rest easy knowing the OR is next door vs. a 25 min drive that would be "too late". I'm just trying to work on my perspective here and know that for whatever reason I'm going through this, I'm supposed to be. So here's to embracing every day, and each passing day. One day closer to looking at that little stinker, breathing a huge sigh of relief and saying,  "We finally made it! You did it! I'm so proud of you". 

XOXO,

Andi

2014, Goodbye to a Brutiful Year!

Oh 2014, you were my hardest/best year yet. For all the hits my heart took this year, I think it's safe to say I have re-confirmed Newtons Law; That for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. For as much stress and heartache I've felt this year, I've also been given the capacity to feel just as much love and joy. It was a "brutiful year" indeed. 

We built a brand new home that we love and have made many new friends in our new town. We both are healthy, our families remained healthy, our careers both are successful and filled with growth and enough challenges to keep us on our toes. Most importantly, we finally were able to conceive a child. After all the ups & downs, many many hours  years endured in the trying to conceive department with specialists and great agony seeing negative pregnancy test after negative pregnancy test, we finally had that positive & now have our sweet bundle on the way. For that reason alone, this year has been made for us. 

Life certainly doesn't come without it's challenges. How you react to them is what matters most. Jack Dempsey said one of my favorite all times quotes that I can sum up how I dealt with the tough times this year, "A champion is someone who gets up even when they can't". That's how it feels day after day after day of physical and emotional defeat from infertility. IUI's and IVF; the needles and the side effects of the drugs, it's no walk in the park. But you have to keep going, you have to keep getting back up for more blows. Eventually you'll knock the shit out of it and that's what I tried to envision on the worst of days.  When I let myself think back to "before", I shudder and want to forget it all forever. But then I remember all the women out there who are still fighting the fight. I'm sending a new pair of boxing gloves & many well wishes to you all in 2015. You will win in the end. Those who have been in your shoes haven't forgotten about you and what you're struggling through. I still ache for women, many whom I know and others that I've never met. My best advice is to just keep getting up, especially when you feel like you can't. You will be able to face & handle anything after making it out to the other side. Just keep swimming {and hoping} :) 

When people used to tell me that "God won't give me more than I can handle", I would think to myself, oh, but he DOES. The absolute best learning point for me this year has been to really get to know and trust God. I didn't really know what needing him meant until I had no other choice. I didn't know what it meant until I cried myself to sleep many a night and didn't think I would ever be able to wake up and face life again. The time I was on my hands and knees in my closet praying/begging him to bring us our baby. The times I lay my hand on the second beating heart in my belly and beg him to bring this baby to me, happy & healthy. Those are the times that taught me Jesus is not just a convenient symbol of love or a reason to do good. No, he’s as real and necessary as the very air we breathe. And he’s the only one who can make it bearable when life is simply anything but. He is the one that can make more of each of our lives than we could ever, ever achieve on our own--even and especially in our greatest trials and through our deepest pain. My prayers this year went from long sentences and details to just two words; "please God". He knew my heart and was finally done working on me, thankfully our prayers were answered. 

My wish to all of you is that you get all of your hearts desires in the year ahead!! :) Happy New Year and bring it on 2015!

xoxo,

Andi

Pregnancy Update: Weeks 17-20

Yesterday was my 20 week U/S and the good news is the baby looks great and is developing wonderfully. All the very important pieces and parts are where they need to be (we didn't find out the gender but even if we wanted to we wouldn't have been able to; legs were crossed even though the baby was moving and grooving all over the place for the tech) and baby is thriving en utero. Would it be a doc appointment/pregnancy that goes without bumps in the road for me? Of course not. 

Bad news is that they found a large exposed vessel blocking my uterus where the baby would exit vaginally that could rupture at anytime. This condition is called vasa previa is VERY rare (1 and 2,000 pregnancies will have this); lucky me!! First off, there are WAY worse things that could happen & the best news is that baby is healthy. The scary news is if I begin to bleed at any time from here until 35 weeks I will need to be on hospital bedrest (I am already on pelvic rest: no gym, no sex, no orgasms, #killmenow). IF the vessel ruptures it is fatal to the baby within minutes so that's why I may have to be admitted to the hospital if at any point bleeding, labor signs, shortening of cervix, etc occurs. There is a possibility that as my uterus grows upwards towards my breastplate the further this pregnancy progresses that will also tug the placenta upwards a bit and that vessel can move away from the opening of my vagina. Please pray that this happens!! I will be monitored every two weeks at this time with more dildocams trans-vaginal ultrasounds so luckily they caught this early and we will be able to stay ahead of the curve. The ideal case here is for the baby to get to 35 weeks then schedule a C-section to avoid the exposed vessel bursting during labor and delivery. Should the baby not make it that far along before I begin to show labor signs, we'll do a C section at that time and be spending some time in the NICU. What I'm most dreading is the hospital bed rest. The doctor said at earliest I will be admitted at 28 weeks, but what they typically see is 32 wees admittance. So, looks like we'll be meeting this sweetie as early as end of March/beginning of April vs. mid May. Hoping and praying for not a second sooner. Trying to stay calm, positive and keep it together when all I really want to do is scream at the top of my lungs "REALLY?!! I CLIMB MT. EVEREST TO GET HERE & NOW I HAVE ANOTHER UPHILL CLIMB?!! REALLY!!!!???"-- then I immediately begin to beg God again to protect myself and my baby. I know he didn't get us this far to abandon us, so I'm just trusting in that for now.

Maternity Clothes/Clothes: yep! and some of these cozies will have to be ripped out of my cold dead fingers PP! Leggings, long tanks, loving being pregnant in the winter.

Weight Gain:  14 pounds.... Its not easy to see the number on the scale, but now that I know I'm MORE than halfway through my pregnancy (if I deliver beginning of April) I'm not as worried about the weight. Especially b/c I'm more worried about a life or death evil vessel monster in the way of my dream vaginal path and no drug induced birth plan. Still trying to wrap my head around the C-section part, clearly.

Stretch Marks: None yet! I've been using true coconut oil- "the black girl kind" thanks to my African American homies that made sure I was hooked up with the good stuff. 

Movement: Lots of movement!! Thank God! I love it...such a fun little experience only shared by the two of us (next to Blair feeling it kick and my Mom too the other day). Turn some jams on and this baby starts poppin' it and droppin' it. Yep, it's my kid.

What I'm loving:  Ugh, Oreos. Someone take them off the market so I'll stop. Dipped in a cold glass of milk? I die. I've limited myself to 5 each serving, and I only splurge about twice a week on them-- But I still feel guilty. Cereal constantly, cant get enough (also bad)...hmmmm what else? Fruit until I'm about to make myself sick & Chic Filet Chicken Sandwiches-- it's the only way I'll eat chicken.

Sleep:  Already starting to get uncomfy now that my belly is actually popped out (wtf, I have no abs to roll over?!) and of course I've had this sinus stuff going around so I cant breathe. BUT, the body pillow is absolutely magical. Best invention yet.

Things I miss: red wine of course, and getting in hard workouts. I also miss feeling rested, already. I'm always tired, it's a part of me now. 

Energy: see above. Tired often but god bless naps! Luckily I'm not back to work until 1/5 and lord knows what the rest of my itinerary will look like with this vasa previa travel wise so just playing it by ear and taking it one day at a time.

Workouts:  Workouts were great and happening about 3x weekly until yesterday. You may be reading about me in the papers since I now have ZERO outlet for relieving stress. Pelvic rest is a cruel cruel joke-- but hey--i'm not messing around here and will follow doctors orders for the health of this little nugget. It just may require me to be an angry, fat slob for awhile.

Symptoms:  The stretching & splitting of my ab muscles is the most noticeable and painful for me, but next to that some days I forget that I'm even pregnant.

Ultrasound, 12/29: Trying to focus on the sweet smiling baby in these U/S pics and not this colorful vessel that's running down my uterus-- prayers that in 4-6 weeks I'm in a totally different seat than I am now and that it doesn't reside in a hospital!

Sweet Baby A smiling en utero!

apparently this is hard to catch on the US so props to my tech for catching it early.... this is Vasa Previa

In other news, my friend Brittany helped me to get started on the wainscoting wall over Christmas break that I've been wanting to do myself, so that was VERY helpful. With my math/measuring skills we could have been in trouble. I'll post the "how to" in a few days for those who may have interest in doing it to a room in your house. It cost $100 and only took a few hours. It was a really easy project with a dramatic look! We put the crib back together and sat it in the room, but we still need to stencil the top of the wall above the wanescoting and get the rest of the decor in place. All of that is currently being sped up a bit (I'm glad I got a head start on this wall now) since we don't know for sure when the baby will arrive now. Here are some before/during/after pics! Stay tuned for the final nursery reveal but here it is at this time. 

boring grey wall before

putting up the MDF boards we cut during

LOTS of nails here people, lots of them!

after painting!

this morning as the sun was coming through :) Isn't that crib just magical? le sigh.....

Xoxox,

Andi