Two months with Adlee

STATS: 11.5 lbs | 21" long


AJ,

Two months already?! Time is just flying by. You are quite the sweetie pie at 8 weeks old as you begin to become more alert & respond with smiles and coos to what we say to you. You are happiest in the mornings so I enjoy laying in bed talking with you for as long as you'll let me. I'm trying to soak up every second I can with you just cuddling, reading, going on walks in the neighborhood & rocking you on the front porch and in your room. You finally cracked a big ol grin that was directed just for me and I may have melted into a big ol puddle right then and there. I was able to get you to do a few more and captured one on camera in the hotel room you were grinning in while we were en route to Myrtle Beach! Adorable.

You are such a good traveler & Daddy and I said over and over how proud we were of you. We had a 10 hour drive each way, the hottest week in history there & were in a beach house with three other basketball families (8 kids total) and you were a breeze! Better than you are at home actually ;) Dad and I decided to sell the house and buy an RV, just because you seemed so happy with life on the road. Ha! I hope you continue to enjoy it because we don't plan to slow down anytime soon. I'm starting to get all weepy about leaving you with a Nanny (whom we've yet to hire) so I'm hoping once we decide on who will be watching you, next to your Grandma Albright twice a week, that I'll begin to feel better. As much as I would like to stare at you all day every day in a Mama induced love spell, I also happen to make a good living at what I do and am unable to leave. I hope that in growing up watching a hard working career Mama it will also inspire you to work hard at getting a good education, so you too can be a contributor to your family income, should you like to one day. I grew up watching my mom work two jobs sometimes just to help Dad out with my large monthly gymnastics expenses & we never went without what we wanted/needed to thrive in life. Mom enjoyed working, but I'm sure that there were times where she had Mama guilt for leaving us with someone else or not being able to be there for every event (although I can't really think of much she missed). Change is never easy, but I hope once I get back into the swing of work it will make me a better Mama to you in the long run. Thinking of you being sad or lonely for me if I'm not there or upset if I have to miss something because of work makes my heart break right in two. Who knew my heart would become so weak once I gave birth to you!?! :)

I hope you always know how much you mean to me and that every thing I do I do with your best interest in mind. Love you oh so much! 

Xoxo, 

Mom

Cluster feeding & growth spurts! Gas/Colic or just the need to paci? Lots of trial & error. Figuring this out as we go....

Before I was a Mom I always wondered why women would say they "haven't read a book in YEARS since the baby", or why some days it was "all they could do to even shower". Even shower I'd think to myself?! Ok, that's ridiculous. It cannot be THAT hard to manage a 10lb tiny human. I knew that there was lots to manage of course but I didn't realize that before you knew it it was 4pm and all you had accomplished was everything to keep a baby alive and quiet/happy & nothing for yourself. The amount of times I've now had to use the jon while baby is still connected to my boob so I didn't pee myself is well... Embarrassing! Too many to count. ESPECIALLY since she had a ridiculous growth spurt a week or so back where I completed an entire Netflix season while she cluster fed for two days (I will admit though that was a bit nice to just hunker down and mentally check out while she ramped up my milk supply). I've been lucky to have 0 nipple discomfort so really is was a nice break. Before being a mom, if someone told me sitting in front of Netflix for two days while having a baby on your teet 24/7 whilst squatting on your toilet + newborn attached was a "break", I would have shook my head in disbelief. THE HORROR! ha! Boy have things changed!

Last I wrote we were having a terrible time getting her to lay flat and sleep & so many people said to use the Rock N Play to which I finally tried & they were all right. It's a heaven send! She began to sleep 3-4 hours or so in it and just when we could see some sleep for us on the horizon, we began to deal with the next hurdle: her gassy stomach. We didn't know if it was gas + witching hour and or colic and there were way too many nights to count (always beginning at 7p on the dot) of 4+ hours of non stop shrilling. We swaddled, we shushed, bounced, swayed, tried every toy & paci's we had to distract. Nada. We loaded her up and did car rides, stroller walks... absolutely NOTHING would stop the crying, next to my boob that is. For a solid two weeks I was a nerve wracked zombie floating around in distress all day just waiting for the inconsolable wailing to begin at 7p where she'd wail & wail before I caved & latched her on. I was convinced my milk was poison thus leading to her gas and that I MUST also be over feeding her (she went from 6.3 to 10.5 lbs in 6 weeks)! But turns out you can't over feed a breast fed baby, so I would finally concede to using the boob to soothe her  like she wanted. It was frustrating for Blair to know this would solve it for her but that I didn't always want to use this method to soothe, & frustrating for me to feed/pacify so many hours of the day getting nothing else accomplished (even though feeding & soothing her was my first focus & quite a big accomplishment). This whole battle/process would then kick off the 0 sleep at night process as she would be so gassy to follow feeds & seemingly in pain (fists clenched, legs bent to belly, back arched). It was hellacious & the anxiety was all consuming. My mom was kind enough to tell me I looked like hell & had "bags for days". Thanks Ma! She was a formula/bottle Mom so although her journey wasn't a breeze to feed us, she was getting 4+ hours of sleep with us from day 1. She doesn't quite understand how EBF works which has been frusterating at times to explain, but more on that later. 

One min she'd get herself settled down...

and once off the boob she will shrill again....mehhhhh

We finally took Adlee to her Peds after trying everything (gripe water, gas drops, bicycling legs, stomach laying, etc) who diagnosed her with what we were hoping most that she didn't have. "It looks like you've got yourselves a colicky, gassy, high maintenance little girl here. Just take turns with her to give eachother breaks until it passes around 3 months. It's harder on you two than it is her". BEHHHHH!! Since not much is known about or why babies are colicky and nothing would work to calm her we felt pretty hopeless. We left making a pact to be more patient with her and eachother & that we were just going to have to get through these next 2 sleepless months alive. 

she obviously likes this pose-- ironically--so did I as a baby

MEN! sigh

A few days later I cleaned out her drawer to box up her NB clothes to replace them with 0-3 (hold me!) & found a few different pacis that we hadn't tried. The one she didn't spit out right away was a MAM paci that my mother in law gave us from a bag of Josie's items she never used (Adlee's baby cousin that's in heaven). So I kept it handy for her next colic breakdown that evening & it was an immediate silencer. She LOVES it & its soothed her ever since, praise G! Since discovering this paci we've made a massive turn around. She's calmed almost immediately & we think all she needed was something to distract & soothe during her fussy phases in the evening. I'm now not convinced she really has colic or is overly fussy at all.  She's been an absolute dream! With the assist if this paci, I think she just was communicating her boredom or need to wind down from stimulation and soothe & she was using my breast for this. I would like to find the inventors of the MAM & hug each and every one of them. She's now sleeping 5-6 hours a night & is stretching her feeds to every 3-4 hours or so during the day. She's still a gassy little thing but the paci helps to put her focus on it & less on her discomfort. While I'm thankful she's in less distress, her schedule lengthening & these progressions show me she's growing up which makes me sad that she's needing me less and less. Blair assures me that she still & will always need me very much.

Next on the horizon, as I am soon to reach 8w of maternity leave, is to line up childcare for AJ. I return at 12w. Agh! I didn't realize how hard all of these steps would be for me! I always thought I'd be ready to get back in the groove of work & have zero problems with all of the baby maturation's, but as I start to pump and begin to give her a bottle or two a week, it's making me sad to miss that bond time with her. I didn't realize how much I would love exclusively breast feeding her & watching all of her baby milestones first hand. A lot of these milestones will be witnessed by another caregiver & relayed to me & it tugs at my Mama heart strings. I don't desire to leave work or stay at home so I'm sure as anything else, I'll begin to adjust to the new norm soon enough. Stay tuned for what we decide on for childcare & also how Adlee did on her first road trip to Myrtle Beach!!

Until then.....

Xo, 

Andi 

One month with Adlee

My Sweet Girl,

It's been one month that I've somehow kept you alive, fed and seemingly happy! As they say, time flies when you're having fun. Truthfully, this has been one of the best, craziest, happiest, most tiresome month of my life. At first I had an adrenaline that kept me on a Mama High 24/7 and I didn't understand what people meant when they said how exhausted you'll be as a new Mom. 30 days in while finally feeling the effects of a C section, I get it. As tiring as it is, there is nothing sweeter than you needing me and me alone. I know this won't be forever so I'm embracing every second of it. Not only do you need me because im exclusively breast feeding, but you clearly know my voice, smell and touch over others; even your Dad. It's hard for him as he wants to console you the way I am able to. While I know that will happen in time, I secretly love that there's no one more than me that you need right now. 

I stare at you in awe everyday. Your strawberry blonde hair, your little lashes that flutter and your big grins you get when you're dreaming all melt my heart. Your furry arms and back and tiny little fingers and toes are so kissable, I won't ever get enough of them. You look exactly like your Dad (thankfully, as he was one cutie pie every phase of childhood whereas I went through many awkward ones). We hear it every where we go! But what not many people see unless they spend all hours with you like I do are the parts of you that are just like me. For starters, you are one fiesty little chica! When you want something, you want it now and there's no stalling you or distracting you from getting that. You see my sweet girl, that's half the reason you are in my arms today! I hope you'll never forget how much I had to fight for you & how much I had to endure just to get you here. There were many "no's" I ignored to get to "yes", but I never lost sight of you. Well sometimes I did, which naturally happens when life throws you lemons, but not for long. It was always back to the drawing board, never ever giving up on you. I always knew it wouldn't be easy, but that it would be worth it, and that you very much are. 

You kick and punch and climb up my torso with that fiesty spirit of yours when you want fed and as hard as these nights are to get up and feed you every 2 hours (or less) I can't help but smile at your moxy & know that it too took that same fight within you, to get here. Someday we may tell you that you started as one of two in my belly, and the second baby "vanished" {never developed but stayed as a mass of cells the entire pregnancy} while you held on strong. You too, like me, weren't ever going to give up, even with all that was thrown at us along the way. You even helped me out by coming eary when I truly couldn't carry you a day longer. We make quite the team sweetie beatie & I hope we always share this bond. I can't wait to see what's in store with your little {big} spirit next month and beyond! To see you grow and thrive & accomplish milestones together, and apart, make me so proud. Every second with you is a blessing & a joy.

Happy 1 month Adlee James! Mama loves you more than life.

check out that attitude!!

Xoxo, 

Mom 

ADLEE'S NEWBORN PICS

I have stared at these presh pics over and over {much like her face everyday} and love them more and more!! I honestly can't pick a favorite. What's better than a sweet sleeping babe? MY sweet sleeping babe :) Enjoy!

WE FEEL SO BLESSED!!



XO,
Andi

Mommyhood: cold coffee, late nights & many a visitors....these are the days!

Many things fascinate me now that I'm not solely thinking and living for myself. For starters, I'd like to meet the Mother who has a hot cup o' joe before noon (not after it's been heated 3x) and give her a high 5. Because let me just tell ya, I haven't had a steaming cuppa since Adlee was born. I've resigned to pretending my coffee is an "iced coffee" from Starbucks and not from yesterdays pot!! Honestly though, Miss AJ has been pretty good to me. She's latched like a champ from the get go and eats well. Too well I feel like, Lord Mama needs a feeding break. I don't want to complain b/c I'm blessed to have even produced, and not have to supplement or pump from the get go but it's ALOT to be feeding every 1:30-2 hours (or less). I must have nips of steel b/c I haven't even needed the cream everyone swears by...or Adlee just latches well, who knows! This week AJ has begun to comfort feed more so there's still time for that to change. Her gas/colic has increased and her fussy nights are off the charts. Which leads me to my first "I will never do that as a parent" statement/situation that has already blown up in my face: Co-sleeping. WOOPS! Legit, it's the ONE thing I swore I never wanted to do (and truly I don't want to) but she just will not sleep in her bassinet or crib or anywhere that isn't elevated. We've nicknamed her 'Piglet' in our household for the obvious reasons, she snorts like a little piggy when she lays flat. Sister just cannot breathe. We've put towels and blankets under her bassinet mattress, we've rolled up blankets and sandwiched them around her to lay her on her side. We've swaddled, we've shushed, and at the end of the day, what they say is true. It's all about survival in the beginning, so co-sleeping we shall! I figure at less than three weeks old we aren't creating any habits she'll remember, so lets just hope that come 3 months she's blissfully sleeping OUT of our bed! Day time? She will sleep anywhere, go figure. Just like she did en utero. 9pm strikes and she is ready to par-tay... good times!

Miss AJ has been out and about with us from the get go and has already met so many of her adoring fans! We've tried to keep as "business as usual" and just bring her along so to not alter life 100% and to have some sort of normalcy. It's worked well for us so far. Many people prayed for her and encouraged me throughout this journey and it's so rewarding to see them love on her in real life now that she's here! All of our hospital visitors were so kind to come and see us and dreams became reality when Gram & Ray and Mamaw & Papaw got to hold her. It's such a blessing to have both sets of great grandparents in her life, at least on my side. Sadly, Blair's grandparents have all passed on. So these pictures and moments with them mean so much to us. 

Gram & Ray!

Papaw & Mamaw

My first love holds my first babylove <3

Some hospital visit shout outs to some very special people who I never want to forget made the time to stop in and see our sweet girl....

Her bestie {or future bf} Weston stopped in for snugs and brought her flowers, and her cousin Evelyn sent a teddy bear. So thankful to have my Sister from another Mister, Steph, at beckon call for all questions I no longer have to Google! Major bonus to being one of the last in the group to have kids. I cannot thank her enough for all of her kind gestures and for sending me special goodies along the way for AJ. She is very much appreciated.

Steph & West

Sumo man meets nugget

Another special hospital guest was my favorite nurse Flo who was a huge supporter of ours and truthfully one of the reasons Adlee is even here. Flo was the nurse I spoke about during our IF journey who I got so close to, and eventually broke down to when things weren't sticking to the wall that the doc was just launching at it. She was the one to take an extra second to review our medical charts and caught the missing link as to why we weren't conceiving. I will never be able to thank her enough for all of her love and support. Seeing her holding our little girl was an absolute surreal/dream moment. Oh I love her so! {I have no idea how I didn't get a picture of them, I'm sure I did... Maybe that's the anesthesia talking from that day?! Sigh, well I have a mental image of them together I'll always cherish}.

Brittany has been such a supporter in my life and has cheered me on this journey from Day 1. She is one special Auntie to our little girl and she loves her to bits already.

 Of course Grandparents & Megan and Isaac wouldn't have missed meeting her on her birthday! Can't you just feel the love pouring out of these pics?! I'm surprised they don't have faces of horror considering I was on the other side of the camera, ha!! But seriously, if you saw me on D day you'd have not recognized me. Thank you 5 liters of Lactated Ringers! ;) Happy to say 20 of the 40 has come off in 2 weeks. The rest, well we'll get there eventually!

The Grandparents!

Poppy Dan

Mimi Shawn

Grandpa Jimmy

Grandma Vicki

Aunt Megan & Cousin Isaac

he loves her to pieces & has already made up a song about her titled "Abbie"...lol!

All of her Auntie's and Uncle's on the Albright side brought us dinner one night and got to meet their first niece! They look pretty smitten to me. Adlee even gave a pep talk to her soon-to-be cousin, Baby Boy Lutmer en utero! We can't wait to meet him in July!

Quinn, Jeff, Paige, Baby Lutmer & Trent

Uncle Cody

Auntie Arden

Last but not least are Andrew, Allie & Holly. Andrew has been on the scene since middle school in my life and has also been a cheerleader through this journey, along with Allie and Holly. Allie is a dear friend and colleague and Holly and I volunteered in the NICU together. She's been a huge ear to me. Many a day of us holding those precious preemie's rocking away in our rockers at Dayton Children's just dreaming of the day I'll have a lil stinker of my own to rock. 

Andrew

Allie

Holly

And here we are... real life... with our little girl. These are the days and I'm loving every single second of them (diaper rash, witching hours, cluster feeds, cold coffee and all)! Pinch me!

Until next time.....

XOXO,

Andi