Maternity Pics

Even though seeing yourself looking unlike your "normal" self isn't easy, I really wanted to get maternity pics documented as I have ONE picture of my mom pregnant with me. I know I'll look back on these pictures fondly one day. It was 10 degrees in these pics we took in German Village at Shiller Park in Columbus, Ohio. The weather that day was fitting to how B and I met (7 years earlier to the day to be exact) in the Blizzard of '08, so that's a fun fact for ya. Enjoy!

XOXO,

Andi

27-31 week - Pregnancy Updates!

Maternity Clothes/Clothes: Pretty much living in sweats and T's unless I'm at work at which point I wedge myself into my scrubs. Current debate? To toss scrub top altogether and wear a T. Meh! Thankful I don't have to dress myself in business clothes-- I would HATE to have to buy all that for a short time. 

Weight Gain:  30lbs. Yikes! I keep saying I'm going to stand on it backwards and just tell them to write it down without letting me know, b/c I really feel like it doesn't matter what I do or what I eat I'm just going to carry where and how I carry. But I do feel swollen as all get out. Doc isn't concerned however, and said women under 5'5" have much harder pregnancies as their symptoms show sooner and seem more prevalent due to being so short. Makes sense. Boooo to 5'2"! 

Stretch Marks: None yet! Thank G. Keep it tight BioOil!

Movement: Baby has been breech until recently (now it's moving around everywhere) which has given me some serious "lightening crotch" kicks that literally take my breath away. Recently doc pointed out that the "head" taking up half of my belly and located next to my belly button is actually the babies "butt"... which between B and I and our bubble butts, isn't surprising it's so large. Good to know we've been talking to, reading to and singing lullabies to our babies ass this entire time. Woops!

What I'm loving:  Applesauce, Apples, Cinnamon Apple Sauce still.  Milk, Cereal, PB dipped in milk. 

Sleep:  Well the stuffy has somehow gone away, but Carpel Tunnel has now taken it's place. My hands go numb inbetween my 6 trips to the bathroom, so it's safe to say that I'm not sleeping much. I started taking half a Benadryl here and there just to not be a complete zombie and I will say it does help grog me up enough to get SOME sleep. 

Things I miss: Still wine... always wine... always will be wine. Patio drinking... oh, did you hear there's now a peach Blue Moon flavor? Yummmm... 

Energy: I feel better in this department. Not sure how with the lack of sleep, maybe it's the "nesting" people speak of, but I have nearly finished nursery, clothes are washed and put away, pantry is organized and my check list is slowly dwindling so I'll take that as a uptick in energy! Yay!

Workouts:  Walking and stretching is all this chunky monkey + sciatica pain is doing. I'm getting SO STIFF, but the stretching is helping so that's good. Now that it's not -20 degrees and knee high snow piles outside, I can see myself getting daily walks in this Spring. 

Symptoms: Sciatica, Carpel Tunnel and bloat/swelling (wedding ring is off, although my gifted 'something blue' ring B got me that day I wear on my middle finger & now fits my ring finger, so I don't feel completely detached from my wedding day vows, so that's a plus)....

Next Ultrasound, 3/30: I requested MFM allow me to have one more US to confirm AGAIN that this Vasa Previa is gone and I'm fully released, so after that I'll be wrapped up with Ultrasounds. New due date (39w) is 5/8 at which point if I don't delivery vaginally they'll agree to a scheduled Cs for me. If I go into labor naturally, they will request that I give it the ol' heave ho & have this baby vaginally. I'm nervous but trying to trust they know what they're doing. 

27 WEEKS

28 WEEKS

29 WEEKS

31 WEEKS

I'm not sure how this belly will get bigger but I have a feeling my body is about to show me. Whew.... I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.....

Maternity pics & baby shower updates soon to follow!!

XOXO,

Andi

Expect the Unexpected

Not even sure where to begin with this blog.... but let me tell you, I surely didn't see this one comin'. I'd consider myself a glass half full type of person who certainly errs on the side of hope during dark days, but this one took me for a total surprise. Let me rewind back to the day Finley was taken from us on Monday 2/23. 

So, as stated in my previous post, I was waiting at my high risk appt when my sister told me she was at Riverside Hospital in Columbus and Finn had no HB. It was like a ton of bricks hit me, especially b/c I was sitting on the exam table waiting for my high risk doc to come in and take a look at my wonky placenta (the same organ that just burst inside my sister and took little Finn from us). The doc and U/S tech (and myself, because trust, I can tell you what everything is inside of my female parts I've seen them so much) were having a tough time finding the Vasa Previa vessel which is NOT hard to find. It dangles right into my cervical opening and sometimes takes away from the beauty that is sweet Baby A. I'm usually found holding my breath as I watch the babe kick its big ol' active foot into the ugly vessel just praying that it's not possible for it to burst right then and there. This day the vessel was MIA. We all were a little dumbfounded but my thoughts were elsewhere and everyone assumed it was a fluke, that it would appear on my next U/S the following Monday (3/2). I followed up with my regular OB the next day and filled him in on my sisters son's demise as well as her placenta issues & how it heightened my concerns for my own placenta. He hadn't received the U/S review from the day prior so I filled him in on the "now missing vessel". He looked at me like "oh you poor thing.. please don't believe this is actually going to disappear"... and told me it's "highly probable to remain present in my cervix although possible that it has migrated", and gave me a half hearted grin. Although one may think he just popped my small balloon of hope right then and there,  I had faith that Angel baby Finn was hard at work upstairs for his Auntie and Cousin. 

So last Monday I go in for another high risk apt and again, they can't find the vessel. They move me to another room and call in three different docs all who shifted me in multiple positions, whispered back and forth to one another in disbelief and eventually exclaimed that in fact my Vasa Previa condition has been officially taken off the table. Yep, you read that correctly. My uterus stretched upwards enough between weeks 20 and 30 to pull the vessel out of my cervical opening and be in a position that will allow me to have a normal, low risk pregnancy and delivery. SAY WHAT?! .... nothing short of a miracle. Seriously, pinching myself. Thank you God for answering our prayers. 

I have an apt with my regular OB next Tuesday to put together a new delivery game plan, one of which I still feel inclined to do via C Section at this point. I've worked with doctors long enough to know that sometimes fast ones are thrown last minute and even they can't understand the reason (aka my Vasa Previa moving that of which they stated happens in less than 1% of cases). I don't prefer a Cs but I prefer a LIVE and HEALTHY baby, and I don't want to labor for hours in distress just wondering if that vessel is relocating & potentially going to burst and deplete my fetal blood supply. It's not a birth scenario that you want to mess with, aka it's fatal. If I have my way, which my doctor will more than likely give me knowing our entire journey to get here, I'll suggest a 37-38 week scheduled Cs. So stay tuned! But no hospital bed rest and off pelvic rest? Couldn't be happier my friends, it's like I've got a whole new lease on life. Hallelujah!

XOXO,

Andi

Heavy Hearted

It is with great sadness that I have to announce the passing of my sweet stillborn nephew, Finley Ray. My sister was 21w pregnant with him when she called me Monday morning to tell me she was en route to the hospital having contractions. She has a child already so of course she knows what contractions feel like even though I tried my best to pep talk her through the drive with "it could always be Braxton Hicks.... are you sure? Hmm, perhaps it's just ____? Well, lets just stay as calm as possible until we know". When she parked the car, her water broke so we all knew it wasn't going to be good. Once they got an US to her, there was no HB. Meanwhile, I'm sitting at my high risk appointment in the waiting room waiting for my US to check the vasa previa conditions, bawling and heartbroken for my sister. This just CANT be happening I thought...there has to be some kind of mistake. Unfortunately, there wasn't. 

For the past month my sister felt like something was wrong because she had been bleeding daily. Like, fill a maxi pad daily kind of bleeding, not just brown spotting. She had been to the ER, her OB and MFM several times at which everyone told her that she just had a "small clot" she was passing. Then it was a Subchorionic Hematoma, which essentially lead to the demise of the baby. Until the baby is mid 20s in the weeks of it's gestation there isn't much they can do if you go into pre- term labor as it cannot survive in even the NICU. So, they just kept monitoring her. Well, God had other plans for her, Finn and our family because Monday her placenta ruptured and a stillbirth of Finn was the result. They don't know if he passed Saturday or Sunday but I'd like to think it was Sunday when family and friends were not only celebrating Baby A at my family shower she attended, but also excited and filled with love and hope for Megan and Paige's pregnancies. My sister in law who lost her daughter, Angel Baby Josie last June to HLHS + Trisomy 18 and also had to deliver her stillborn, is expecting again and is only 2 weeks behind my sisters former due date in July. I'd like to think Finn was surrounded with love when God decided he was needed in heaven. 

I went to be with my sister during her delivery as I couldn't bear knowing she had to go through it without me there to support her. At 28 weeks pregnant myself, I know the smartest thing may have been to avoid witnessing such a horrendous sight and traumatic experience, but my sister is the rock in her marriage and her husband is an emotional wreck. I knew she needed someone to hold her hand who could stand strong and omit as much strength as possible through her somehow to get through this. I tried my hardest, but of course there's no way to hold back the tears and hide the pain with something so so tragic. She passed a blood clot larger than her placenta before Finn arrived, and her ruptured placenta thankfully expelled vs. having to do a D&C. We got to hold Finn, at just under 1 lb and he looked like a mini version of her older son, with my grandpas nose that her and I also share. I wish I could say that at 21w they look peaceful & normal, but they don't. I'll never be able to erase the memory from my mind, but I'm so thankful that I know that I met him and got to see what an Angel on Earth looks like. I was able to snap some pictures for them of the first time they got to see him and the picture says 1,000 words. She was thankful to have it so I'm thankful I took a second to step back and document his arrival in body, but long gone in spirit. 

Rest in Peace our sweet Angel, Finley. I know you'll be watching over me and "Baby A" the rest of this pregnancy, and that I'll get to hold you again in a happier time in place. Auntie loves you. 

XOXO,

Andi

Eat in Kitchen Banquette - Weekend Project!

Let me just tell ya, this is pretty dreamy everybody. When we built the house, the only thing that came to mind for this open space off the kitchen was a reading nook/sitting area and/or an eat in kitchen banquette. It turns out, it can be used for both (and I also may or may not bring down my laptop from my home office and work from here in the future). It's view is of the back yard/open field nature preserve and the views are much better than the grey wall in our second guest room slash office. This room is right off our kitchen and flows into our living room whereas our dining room is right when you walk in the front door. It's a little more private which is nice for special events, but in the end, I think we'll use this eat in space daily. We have bar stools and seating now in the kitchen on the islands we eat at half the time but there's something scary about the vision of a bumbo chair sitting on a swivel stool that just doesn't sit right with me ;) 

I think I've taken 100 pics of it, and now sit on the couch for my coffee just to have view of this pretty new addition. I'll be hanging the deer/elk antler light fixture to bring in the rustic element to the room I love, and I need to have a custom bench pad made + add lots of colorful cozy pillows. There will be two chairs added on the non bench side and some curtains over the sliding back doors when I find the fabric I like, but all of that aside, the biggest {hardest part} is DONE! We loved the one I built in the nursery so much that we figured we'd do {and by we I mean me-- ugh, my husband is NOT handy} one in our eat in kitchen + a bench door to lift for storage. I figure this way, when people come to visit I can shove all the kid toys into the hutch, out of sight, and make my main floor look like it has it's shit together ;) Genius eh? 

I did learn my lesson here though. My sciatica hurt so bad after 8 hours working on this Saturday that I couldn't even WALK. No joke, I put myself on bedrest at 6:30pm and didn't MOVE again until Sunday at 8a! Lord, never again. I'm accepting help from here on out b/c that ish was PAINFUL. My mind is still working at the pace of a non pregnant person toting around 25 additional pounds. 

Here are some before/during/after pics. I'll update once we have it put entirely together, but I'm allowing myself a few months leeway to get the rest done :) It's such a simple project, if you have interest feel free to ask for the 'how to', I'll share!

BEFORE : BORRRRING

DURING!!!

AFTER!!!

elk/deer fixture will replace this one

2 of these bad boys will be facing the banquette: love love love! 

If you have any great fabric sites or drape sights you've had luck with for pillows and seating and such, I'm open for suggestions. But, the vision is slowly but surely coming together. Hope you all had a fun, relaxing and productive weekend as well {sans sciatica pain}!


XOXO,
Andi

26 weeks + happenings lately!

My bestie had a baby!! World, welcome Weston Henry Garee. What a babe! I spent the night with their precious family the other day and just love lovin' on both Evelyn and Weston, and Mama too of course. SO happy for this beautiful, completed, family of 4! 

Also, my good friend Liz had her sweet son, Graham & boy is he a doll. Babies, Babies, Babies! I see many play dates in our near future with these studs. 

I hope you're not sick of all my baby posts as of late but I'd rather journal here than actually write in a book. I promise I'll have a non related baby post coming soon as our contractor is building a beautiful, dreamy eat-in-kitchen area + banquette for us and will be done this weekend. Agh! Pics to follow. 

Without further adieu....

Maternity Clothes/Clothes: Current struggle? Trying to find something attractive and trendy to wear for maternity pics this month ... meh. Wanting to look like this.... 

When everything I try on makes me feel like I'll look like this instead.....

Weight Gain:  25lbs, yep you read that right. Holy crap. Now that i'm on pelvic rest I'm obviously not getting the exercise I need to burn these cals, and/or baby had a serious growth spurt but I'm packin em' on people! Oh well, baby is coming 5-6 weeks early so lets hope it goes to the babe as it should. 

Stretch Marks: None yet! Thank G. That's all I need .....

Movement: Moving NON STOP... twinkle toes up in hurrrr. 

What I'm loving:  Applesauce, Apples, Cinnamon Apple Sauce.... this kid may or may not come out an apple. Hmmm, maybe that's what Gwen Paltrow was thinking!?! Also cereal, peanut butter and jelly sammies..... so basically lots of sugar. And my glucose test is tomorrow, woopsie. Just add it to my tab!

Sleep:  Miz. Cant breathe, all stuffy, feel like Shamu the Whale every time I have to roll over, which is often. I feel like I'm digressing back to my first trimester in many ways. How does that happen?

Things I miss: Red wine.. like, the ability to drain the whole bottle. HA! 

Energy: Dragging. The congestion at night and trouble breathing impairs my days to follow. I really didn't expect this to happen so soon. Also, I keep saying "so soon" in statements like I just said and Blair corrects me immediately to follow. "Andi? So soon, really? You're almost 7 months pregnant". Which brings me to my next point: I'm starting to feel a bit of denial about all of this. There is a baby in my stomach. There is a baby coming home forever with us in mere months. There is a baby in my stomach.... these thoughts are present now whereas they weren't before. Not that I'm not ecstatic to meet our sweetie after the long hard journey, but that doesn't mean some life altering shock isn't present as well. 

Workouts:  Ugh. I miss them terribly. All I'm able to do now is walk. At a normal pace. I went to the gym and did 2 miles on the track and kid you not, 70 year olds were lapping me. It wasn't pretty. I've never been more ready to KILL IT at the gym however, so perhaps this hiatus is what I needed to re motivate ;)

Symptoms: " No air air.... tell me how I'm 'sposed to breathe with no air air".... -Jordyn Sparks

Next Ultrasound, 2/23: Last U/S showed that my cervix had lengthened a bit (thank you God!) so they gave me 4 weeks until my next appt, at which point I'll be coming in every week and admitted at any time from there on out. Still hoping and praying for 32w before I'm locked up.... but all is looking great right now, so just trying to Carpe Diem! :)

Honestly, I think when this is all said and done I will look back and say that I had a really enjoyable pregnancy. With the added VP stress and of course it being my first time, there's alot of uncertainty but I've loved carrying this sweet babe even if it's a bit uncomfy from time to time. Feeling your little human move inside you is truly a treat that I'm thankful to feel each and every day.

Xoxox,

Andi

Going going, back back to Bethesda, Bethesda.....

Last week I not only met my favorite nurse from the facility center (Flo) for lunch to catch up on life & my pregnancy, but I also braved stopping in to see the entire staff the following day. I do a lot of work in the area, and at my discharge 6 months ago they all told me to "stop in to let them rub my big belly sometime". So, I figured I was finally ready to see all their smiling faces (as was my ever visible & growing belly). It seemed so surreal to be there... with a baby kicking inside me. 

Walking into the waiting room immediately filled me with feelings of guilt. It was like everything was in slow motion. I was holding my coat in front of my belly, very aware of all the eyes from the women undergoing treatments glued to it. I was hoping to omit as many vibes of hope and love from my body as possible to each and every one of them, remembering what it felt like when I sat in their same shoes. I was shouting in my head "I've been there, I know how it feels!! Don't lose hope!", all while wanting to give them all great big bear hugs. I remember Mother's who didn't have sitters for their kids who brought them along to the appointments, or were also stopping in for the ol' belly rub. It was SO HARD sitting there wondering if I'd ever get to be that person, and it's so surreal now that I am. There's really no way to explain it. How it feels to walk down the hallway each day you're there for treatments and see all the smiling baby pics from successful patients. Seeing flyers for the "reunion cookout" with the staff and everyone's children and families. You are so happy for those people who made it to the other side, but you have NO idea if you'll ever be one of them. NO idea if your time, efforts, money, etc will pay off in the end. I never really understood PTSD until now. Even when your life is very different, you can remember those moments & thoughts so vividly.

On one hand I felt like I was walking back into a familiar, homey space. Seeing all the faces of the clinicians who walked the walk right along with me (hell, 2 of which were literally in the room when my child was 'conceived'). And on the other hand, it felt like I didn't belong there at all. My ship had sailed, and I was past that point in my life. Then I remembered my remaining precious embryo the next door down. And the thought that hit me the hardest is that I will be back here again, for round 2 eventually. Lord help me! Ha!! The struggle is real folks!

Although I had my doubts along the way with Dr. H, I have a love towards him now that is unlike any love I have felt before. As far as Dr. Warikoo, the embryologist goes? Well, ya'll know how I feel about him. He is the absolute best in the US. I can't say enough about both of their talents that lead both myself AND my sister to have conceived under their care. If you care to take a gander at their specialties and talents, see below. Amazing how I once wanted to kick that sweet smiling face of Dr. H's after my overstimulated cycle, and now I just want to pinch his cheeks off! :)

If you are struggling to conceive and looking for a center to provide in your care, this one is it. I have referred many a now Mothers here and truly feel blessed to have had these docs on my side. They made what is the hardest journey so far in my life a bit more tolerable.

Glen E. Hofmann, MD, PhD, FACOG

Medical Director, Bethesda Fertility Center
Director, Bethesda Division of Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility

Respected by colleagues for his expertise in both clinical and academic settings, Dr. Hofmann also is recognized by patients for his individualized attention and compassion. He is passionate about offering patients the most advanced infertility technology available for the highest possibility of pregnancy and parenthood. Click here to view curriculum vitae.

Dr. Hofmann is an award-winning researcher whose work has appeared in numerous journals, contributing to improved industry practices in such areas as ovarian reserve screening, ovarian stimulation, growth factors, frozen embryos and embryo quality effects on pregnancy rates. Under his leadership, the Bethesda Fertility Center has accomplished numerous area firsts, including:

• First tristate center to achieve fertilization of a human egg with ICSI (intracytoplasmic sperm injection)
• First tristate center to achieve pregnancy with blastocyst transfer
• First tristate center to achieve pregnancy using sperm aspirated from the epididymis

Board certified in reproductive endocrinology and obstetrics and gynecology, Dr. Hofmann has more than 50 peer-reviewed published articles and 2 book chapters to his credit, covering all aspects of reproductive medicine. His expertise has been recognized by media ranging from local papers to “NBC National News.” He has participated as an infertility topic expert for varied online media, and print and broadcast media regularly seek him to provide comment surrounding infertility issues.

Dr. Hofmann has trained and worked at two of the leading institutes in the world for assisted reproductive technologies. At Mount Sinai Medical Center in New York, he practiced for more than three years, contributing to its reputation as one of the most successful egg donation programs in the United States. He did his subspecialty training at the Jones Institute for Reproductive Medicine in Norfolk, Va., where the first IVF baby in the United States was conceived. Dr. Hofmann completed his internship and residency at the University of Cincinnati in obstetrics and gynecology and also holds a doctorate in biochemistry.

As a nationally recognized expert in infertility, Dr. Hofmann has served as an ad hoc editorial reviewer for such publications as American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, Biology of Reproduction, Fertility and Sterility and the Journal of The Society for Gynecologic Investigations. He has been named a “Best Doctor in America” by a peer-to-peer professional-rating organization and consistently receives “Top Doctor” recognition by Cincinnati Magazine as well as “Best Doctor” honors from Cincy magazine.

Pradeep Warikoo, PhD, HCLD

Director, IVF/Reproductive Studies Lab

Dr. Warikoo keeps the Bethesda Fertility Center on par with leading centers in the country by offering the newest industry technologies in the .Reproductive Studies Lab As an example, through steady development and improvement of the blastocyst transfer method, which uses a more mature embryo, Dr. Warikoo made this breakthrough technology a standard for the center's IVF procedures. Click here to view curriculum vitae.

Dr. Warikoo continuously researches advanced technologies to offer patients the latest in treatment options. His accomplishments include:

• First center in Tristate to achieve pregnancy and live birth using frozen eggs, providing more options for cancer patients and women who wish to delay starting a family.
• First Tristate center to announce successful pregnancy using IVF and preimplantation genetic screening and the first to achieve live birth with preimplantation genetic diagnosis
• First Ohio live birth using hamster zona (egg shells) to freeze single sperm cells – a breakthrough treatment option for men with extremely low sperm counts
• First intracytoplasmic sperm injection pregnancy in Tennessee
• First testicular biopsy pregnancy in Tennessee

Board certified by the American Board of Bioanalysis to direct high complexity laboratories in andrology and embryology, Dr. Warikoo received his PhD from the University of Delhi, Delhi, India, and his master's from the University of Kanpur, Kanpur, India. His experience includes: director for the Reproductive Biology Lab at the Southern California Fertility Institute; senior embryologist at Saginaw General Hospital's IVF and Andrology Lab; and prior to Bethesda, associate professor of embryology and director of the IVF and Andrology Laboratory, which he initiated, at the University of Tennessee Medical Center's Department of Obstetrics & Gynecology.

With extensive published articles and 2 book chapters to his credit, Dr. Warikoo's research continues to impact the field of infertility in such areas as micromanipulation, oocyte maturation and freezing, blastocyst development and embryo freezing. A recognized expert in his field, Dr. Warikoo has secured more than $1 million in research grants from the National Institute of Health throughout his career and is an ad hoc reviewer for the Biology of Reproduction and the Journal of Andrology.

XOXO,

Andi