5 months with Adlee!

Oh little Adlee,

You are such a gem! You are just so happy and fun to be around, I'm constantly amazed by it. We may have had a tough go at it on the front end of this Mommyhood thing but you really do make it pretty easy on us on the back end. You're so smiley! Goodness! Considering Daddy and I aren't really overly smiley people, I wonder where all your pep comes from?! Although I think that has changed a little since you arrived in our world. 

You and I went to a local breakfast diner last week and mid way through my meal a woman in her 60's walked over to the table to ooh and ahh at you. "Those cheeks! My goodness look at those rolls, shes so healthy! What a chunk"! It's like a tape on repeat, ha! If I had a dollar for every time I heard those comments we'd have your college tuition paid for by your 1st birthday. She put her hand on my shoulder and said "I can't help but add, she is one lucky baby. I can tell you are such a proud Mama, you haven't stopped beaming at her your entire meal". It warmed my heart to hear that my happiness shows more outwardly these days, and I owe every once of that to you. You make me full belly laugh out loud, and trust me, that doesn't happen for just anyone. I'm a tough code to crack!

Your milestones since 4 months include rolling over back to belly, full out giggles (my heart cannot possibly expand any larger when you do) and sleeping in your big girl room! You began to seem restless and uncomfy in your Rock N Play, so I knew it was time to get you sleeping flat. You've done much better than I expected with laying flat and dare I say I think you've outgrown the reflux? Crossing fingers. You'll cry for me when I lay you down but after I go back in and console you for a short span, you doze back off and seem to enjoy your nursery and your own space. You remind me more and more of myself everyday in your personality and behaviors. You do things that my Mom tells me were just like me when I was a little girl (or even as an adult now). When I was overstimulated and needed my space in school I would skip recess to stay inside and read or color. In kindergarten my teacher called your Mimi to tell her I was "antisocial" and that they were concerned. Luckily Mimi knew her baby best because she told that teacher that I was anything BUT antisocial. When I'd had enough of people I needed a book or space to do my own thing and all these years later and not much has changed for me. You definitely don't want to be held constantly and are fine at putting yourself to sleep. I promise to remember these things about you too & to always be your number one advocate.

Nursing you is still my favorite part of being a Mom. Those tender moments we get to share will forever be locked up in my heart. When/if you're a Mama someday I will encourage you to also try to nurture your child the same way. It's demanding, exhausting at times, and so so beautiful and rewarding (much like all of Mommyhood). But I wouldn't trade nursing you for a single thing. You still crawl those little chubby fingers to mine and rub my hand when I put you to sleep and nurse you. I didn't want to miss those moments by putting you into your own bed and not having you laying next to ours so I'm glad you still need me there. I bet you'll be a natural at nurturing others when you grow up since you seem to know just how to nurture me when I need it most. I can't wait for all the other milestones. I thank God everyday for being able to watch you grow and for being your Mom. It's my favorite part of everyday. 

I love you much most beautiful darling. More than anyone on the Earth and I like you better than everything in the sky.

Happy 5 months!

XOX,

Mom

Time and change will surely show, how firm thy friendship, O-HI-O!

Every year we get the opportunity to run the Buckeyes out on the field and cheer pregame and third quarter. It is so amazing to be back out there re-living the glory days, even if it is just one game a year. I've yet to miss an alumni game thus far, and really admire the cheerleaders who are in their 70's+ out there in their long skirts & bobby socks, still doing the same Fight Song and Sloopy that we did 10 years ago. The tradition at The Ohio State University is what makes it so incredible to us all. In a world that's always reinventing the wheel and changing, the band and cheerleaders will always have that tradition to rely on.

Sharing this with Adlee was really important to me this year. It was a little stressful to get her down to campus & onto the field, but the pictures are worth a thousand memories to me so it was all worth it. Being 4.5 months old and down in the endzone of Ohio Stadium is something not many people can ever say, so I'm happy that we made it work and her and I got to share these moments. I bet someday when she's older she'll love seeing the pics and who knows, maybe someday she'll be like her Mama and will run the team into THE stadium too!

My friendships with these people are so priceless, I'm so thankful that I was blessed with the opportunity to cheer for Ohio State and have them in my life forever. What an amazing experience. Time and change will surely show, how firm thy friendship, O-HI-O.....

Xoxox,

Andi

Chicago recap!

Chicago trip was a success! We stayed at the Hilton on Michigan Ave and were able to bring Nova along since it's dog friendly. He's been a hot mess since Atticus died, as he hasn't had to be alone in 8 years, so we figured we'd take him along to the big city with us. He did great! It was truly our first trip away as a family since the South Carolina trip when Adlee was just a few weeks old as that was mainly for basketball. It sure is different 'vacationing' with an infant. We made a pact that as overwhelming as traveling may seem with her we will push through. We've been pleasantly surprised on both trips at what a great traveler she is. So far, so good!  I refuse to be a home hermit and I have my husband to thank for pushing me out the door when I come up with 100 excuses as to why just staying in my comfort zone would be best. He's always right in the end on traveling.

she's started holding her paci now! still enamored by the baby in the mirror in front of her

such an old soul gazing at the trees whizzing by

we made it!

a king on his doggy throne!

the only way to treck around the city with a 15 lb baby! BOBA is amazing. This material is so lightweight unlike the Ergo 360, i love it!

evening strolls

AJ : "seriously Mom, you're putting me on one of these nasty trains"... don't worry there was hand sanitizer to follow & she never left her stroller

GO CUBS! Clearly she's a Reds fan ;) Or, just a fan of Air Conditioning. I hear ya sister...

ahhh, the good life! King sized bed in a cool room. She's meant for life on the road

but it's always good to be home! Buckeye game and DAYS away from rolling over. She's getting so close....lessons by Daddy.

Next up on weekend adventures is our OSU Cheerleading Alumni reunion. Mimi is taking Adlee for a night, and for the game, so we will be out and about sans babygirl. LOOKOUT yall.... 

GO BUCKS!

XOXO,

Andi

Bottle boycott + Fussy Pants Mcgee

Ya'll, Girlfriend is a hot mess this month. Friends have told me about the "4 month sleep regression" ahead and the worst Wonder Week of all, "Events" (which we are currently in) and I'm thinking they're onto something here. Adlee was doing fantastic the past 3 weeks. She was sleeping from 8:30p-6:30a & dropping the 2:30a feed and we I was finally getting caught up a bit on sleep. She'd eat at 6:30a then go back down until 8:30 which was fantastic because I could shower and get ready, load her in her jammies and get her to Holly on time to feed and leave for the work day. NOT anymore. Second, she stopped taking bottles altogether. Yes, as in, will not eat a morsel of mommy milk via bottle while I'm away. She won't for my MIL, Holly or Hubs. Not from Dr. Browns (her usual), Tommee Tippie or Nuk. I bought MAM which is the same as her paci but it's next up on the list. We are currently up a creek. Wont latch, won't swallow, chokes what bit drips out and loses her ever loving mind with anger while they try to give her the bottle. Le sigh. 

actually yes, all she drinks/eats is milk-- HA! Look at that face-- so mad. 

I guess it's a compliment that she only wants me, but considering I WORK FOR A LIVING I can't be there at her beckon booby call. I have been tempted to drop in & feed her myself so she doesn't go all day sans milk, but then I don't want her to expect that when she turns down the bottle in will swoop The Boob. Sooooo.... we are working on this. My friend Lindsey swears by Comotomo bottle which helped her daughter when she did the same boycott, and she even ordered me one on Amazon Prime to arrive next day (hallalujah for good people left in this world), so I'm anxiously awaiting it. If it doesn't work I may need to see if something is happening to my frozen milk when put in the bottle warmer (spoiling? would she take a fresh pumped bottle?) in which case you will find my head hyperventilating into a brown paper bag because I have an entire freezer of frozen milk that would become useless. Legit, just when you figure these kids out and think you're Mom of the Year they throw a big ol' wrench in the system. Back to the drawing board. Stay tuned.

We are off to Chicago this weekend for a family vaca (+furbabe) so that'll be fun. Hilton downtown is dog friendly, so this is Nova's first vaca along with the fam. Lets hope we don't regret that! ;)

XOX,

Andi

4 months with Adlee

My Little Lady,

4 months, holy moly!! Life before you was wonderful in it's own ways, but life since you is more than I could have ever imagined. Daddy asked me the other day if I thought you looked how I imagined you to look and I couldn't have ever dreamed you to be as precious and perfect as you are. Your round cheeks, big smile and little arm rolls are to die over. Sometimes the "awww, what a fat baby" comments offend me as I'm always going to be your protective Mama Bear, but I've realized they are just compliments since after all, they are what makes you, YOU! You are healthy and squishy and give the best cuddles. My 1,000 daily kisses literally sink into those amazing cheeks of yours. I wouldn't change a single thing about you. You still think I'm hilarious so that's a plus!! I know one day I'll annoy you, be so uncool, and everything I say will be "soooo 100 years ago", so for now I'll take it. I hope you always love your Mama because there won't be a day that goes by that my love will lessen for you. 

These days your personality is overall pretty laid back. You still have your moments of "zest" (when you're hungry especially) but overall you just love to talk anyone's ear off, travel with Mama in the car & look out the window at all the trees zooming by, or smile and gab at the baby in the mirror (aka you!). We do a lot of front porch rocking like we did when I was carrying you in my belly, and I still sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" as I used to wonder "who" you were (boy or a girl). I now know who you "are" clearly, but now I wonder who you're going to be someday! Will you love music as much as I do? Will you be a free spirit like me or intense and more introverted like your Daddy? What will your voice sound like? What will be your favorite subject in school? I can't wait to relive holidays with you and see so many more smiles on your face. I love that everyday we are learning something new from you. I can't wait for all the steps. What they say is true, it really does just keep getting better and better. 

You can sit up in your bumbo on your own and tolerate tummy time on the boppy now. You hate bottles and still prefer Mama feeds. I still melt over your little hand finding it's way to my chest or face, but not loving your ability to grab my long hair by the fistfuls ;) You and Casanova are getting along well now that you are his only friend since Atticus went over the rainbow. He licks your face and checks on you when you cry. You could careless that he's there so far but I have a feeling that will change when you're big enough to crawl allover him or pinch his tail/nub. It's sweet to watch you and your cousin Isaac interact. He kisses you now and you smile/giggle back at him. Hopefully soon you and your cousin Beck (3 months apart) can begin to interact more. We Mama's are excited to see you all make memories together.

This time last year I was preparing for our big embryo transfer. You and your sibling were safely injected into my womb and we prayed and prayed that you'd both stay there for the next 9 months. You were my little fighter girl who made it all the way (past that 8/29 transfer & through the long 9 months of a high risk vasa previa pregnancy & finally through the C section). You were worth every last bit of it and I thank God he blessed me with you every single day.

From the moment you exited my body, I've understood that being your Mother would be a lifelong process of separation, letting go. I hope that Father time goes SLOW on us and that I'm able to raise you knowing that no matter what happens in your life, there will always be my wide open arms and a shoulder to rest your head on. You will always be my little girl.

Love you so!

XOXO,

MOM 

Life as a working (sick) Mama, pumping + childcare & allergic reactions! Exhaustion and pure joy......

I've been back to work for nearly 5 weeks now and boy is it ALOT! I always thought I was pretty energetic & good at multi tasking but it is EXHAUSTING! It's great to be back amongst the land of the living and showering before 7p, but it's definitely overwhelming to juggle. I had to apologize to Blair the other night as I crawled into bed at 8:30p feeling like I tackled work and mommy that day but was far from tackling "wife". It's truly quite an adjustment and I often feel like I'm drowning. No amount of coffee or hours in the day can get me to where I feel I need to be.  I need to either lower my expectations of myself or trust that eventually we'll hit our new stride and I'll feel like I'm living in less of a blur. HOW to people have 5 kids? .... ok how do they have 2!?

 

Her sitter Miss Holly has Adlee M&T and they are having a really great time together so that helps immensely. I met Holly in the NICU as volunteers and we'd just sit and rock the NICU babies and chat for hours about any and everything. Praying over the sick babies, my struggle to conceive at the time, her struggles to deal with her MIL and family members, etc. She prayed and prayed for Adlee and was such a huge support system for me that it's really a blessing to know she's now her caregiver when I'm away. Holly says she's such an easy happy baby when she's there and she's constantly updating me on how things are going as well as sending pictures. Plus, she deals with my "suggestions" and lets me pretend to instruct her on what's best for Adlee. HA! I'm sure they have their own tricks that work for them but I appreciate her humoring me and letting me feel like I'm still mothering her from afar. 

Holly's son playing with AJ

My MIL watches her W&Th and does the same, thank God. Even with hitting the childcare jackpot I still feel pangs of guilt here and there for not being with her all the time. I remind myself that she's learning to be independent and not to always rely on her Mama to soothe and adapt. Being away from me some will only assist in her feeling comfortable around other people. But, it doesn't mean it's easy. I don't "let down" unless I'm watching a video of her so it's pretty torturous to be sitting in the backseat of the car mid work day listening to her from iphone videos so I can pump my milk effectively. 

 Negatives also include making sure I have enough ice in cooler, clean pump parts, or hell to even remember the frozen milk for the sitter and pump parts! HA! Trust, I've driven away several times and had to turn back to remember both of these on top of what I need for my work presentations. The past 5 weeks in two words: Brain overload. It has to get easier.

fun with Gramma

not so fun in the backseat of my car.... pumping, and GO!

I always wondered what a Mama does when she's sick and has a baby. Well I learned that the show must go on. I was pretty miserable for a week with either allergies or a bad sinus cold and it just so happened to be the SAME week Adlee had a HORRENDOUS allergic reaction to what we think was my Mom's laundry detergent. She had a bath at her house and next morning??! THIS!!

GASP!

it was hard to look at, but didn't phase this little nug...

What cured it? Breast milk and oatmeal baths!!! Who knew? It really is liquid gold. Sister was pretty uncomfortable with the rash and of course we I were worried it would never go away. But after a few baths she was good to go, thankfully.

no joke this was 2 baths later!! Hallalujah

As tiring as it all is and as overwhelming as it seems all it takes is a big ol grin from my girl and snuggles to make the stress all go away. This time last year I was giving myself injections and was smack dab in the middle of my IVF stim cycle almost ready for the egg retrieval
 I can't believe how far we've come. I had no idea what would happen from all of that and here I am caring for my 3.5 month old daughter. God is always good and His timing really is perfect. I am thankful for every crazy, exhausting, wild moment that I have with my little chica. My cup may runneth low on caffeine and low on energy, but it always runneth over!

 

oh hey Ma, just watching gymnastics <3

 

XOXO,

Andi