What nobody tells you about post Egg Retrieval - IVF

Now that I've made it to the other side of Egg Retrieval, I just want to take a moment to list the things that NOBODY tells you about what's going to happen post retrieval & how you'll REALLY feel. Ffffffff....

1. You will be more constipated than you've ever been in your life. 

Start taking Colace days BEFORE retrieval. I haven't had, ehhmm, "success" yet with my upped fiber, Colace & mass fluid drinking, but I hear when I do finally do make it to the Loo, it will be the worst experience of my life. "Imagine your vagina falling out of your body" was what one friend told me. Fun! Cant wait!

2. "Your ovaries will be sore". 

Misconception people.  Truth is, they will feel like grapefruits that have Charlie Horses shooting through them. It hurts to roll over, stand up straight and walk when you have a grapefruit in your body sloshing around in anger. Keep in mind they poked and prodded around in there for 15-30 mins, your ovaries  won't be just sore, they will HATE YOU. You will be more sore than the lame Tylenol you are allowed to take will warrant. 

But seriously, I think my ovaries may look this angry right now!

3. Fluids, fluids and MORE fluids. 

G2, Coconut Water, Water. I could literally have filled the deep end of a pool in fluids that I've drank the past 6 days & I'm still going strong {I was told fluids help increase chances of implantation, so at least it isn't all for nothing}! It does help drain everything and make you feel a bit better in the bloat department though so that's a plus.

4. The Progesterone in Oil shots Intramuscular? I cant even describe the pain ya'll. 

All of the injections, meds, retrieval, grapefruit ovary pain, etc- none of it adds up to these shots. This is def the worst part of IVF. Blair has to inject this thick oil intramuscular every morning for the next month +. Think your sorest workout (the pain/ache that is so bad you can't roll over, sit or walk up stairs? Yea, that one). Where it hurts so good/bad to massage that you could gag/cry/orgasm? That's the only way to describe it. It's hands down been the worst part of this entire experience. On top of the pain and soreness in my butt & hips, he leaves the house at 4:45am so that's when I have to get up to take it. Doesn't get much worse than that folks!! Well, the other option is vaginal suppositories which you have to wear a pad with b/c of all the mess that comes out-- so maybe that's worse--but honestly, I'm not sure. I may gladly trade these PIO shots in for those.

5. Day 2 Post Retrieval will be the worst day (yesterday for me). 

I figured right after retrieval or even the next day would be the most sore but for me, that was yesterday. Maybe it's because I wasn't posted up resting like I should have been the day after ER b/c I felt well, but I paid for it yesterday. So don't panic and look up everything you can find on Google search regarding IVF experiences that will only make you MORE anxious like I did. Just know that it's normal to feel worse a few days after before you feel better. Luckily I woke up feeling much better today.

Next to that, I feel FANTASTIC! :) Hey-- I can't always be a ray of sunshine about this process. It's hands down the hardest thing I've ever gone through & I will happily put this experience in my 'ERASE FROM MEMORY' file. I give so much credit to women who actually go through IVF cycles multiple times to conceive. I'm strong, but I'm not that strong. Those out there who've done this over & over? You're truly my heroes. I can't even imagine. {shudders} 

Because somehow.... YOU CAN, and YOU DO!

xoxo,

Andi

IVF Egg Retrieval Update

Saturday was the ER and I have to say, it went better than anticipated. I have always had anxiety about anesthesia, however I now love Fentanyl + Versed with a splash of Propofol. Best shiz ever!! I hate to feel out of control and all drooling on myself, which is what I expected would happen as it did after my tonsils and wisdom teeth. I got to the clinic and got all dressed in my hot gown to head into pre-op, and when they took my BP it was 164/90. Ummmm... insert cocktail immediately. HA! I remember talking shop with the pre-op nurse for a hot min but don't recall much else until I saw Dr. H in the procedure room. Blair said I was talking to everyone just fine and even accurately gave my height and weight {damn truth serum in front of my husband} while adding in a dash of personality stating "although I'm SURE at least 8 lbs of that are these 30 some eggs". I remember Dr. H coming to get me & that I assisted them in scooting myself over to the table then the next thing I remember were the stirrups going on my legs & Dr. H puting oxygen over my face while telling me to "have fun on the beach with my mai tai". That i did folks!! I woke up calm (for once) and proceeded to "see" two of my favorite nurses who stopped in to check up on me {no idea this happened until today when one called to follow up}. She said I was talking normal to her about work & such {gah, do I ever NOT work?!} and said repeatedly how much I loved her. I think what I meant was "I love this cocktail", but whatever. I do love her too. 

I sat in pre-op for a hot min & kept looking at the clock (it was 10:30) wondering why I was still there since my procedure was at 7:30. I was shaky and my blood sugar levels were low but when I came back from la la land and was in somewhat of a normal state, the pre-op nurse told me it took them awhile to get me to wake up after the procedure. Clearly I was having too much fun on the beach with my mai tai!!! :)

My gf Meghan & I were only scheduled an hour apart from each other {the friend in Texas going through this cycle at the exact same time} and we tried to lighten the mood by sharing our pre-op  pictures before going under. It's obvious she was having no problems looking forward to her drugs! 

My "Dont make me do it" face....

I think she may have already had her cocktail here-- HA!!

The progesterone in oil shots I have to have Blair give me every morning following retrieval  have honestly been the worst part of all. Crazy right? Intramuscular shots in your arse are NOT COOL. I was up all night in pain with a hot pack on my butt with what feels like the hardest workout/soreness you've ever had partnered with charlie horses in your muscle. It is TERRIBLE. I have no idea how I'm going to do these every morning for the next 35+ days. Lord make it stop!

Our Embryologist report yesterday was great so now we just wait until Tues to see how these embabies are looking, at which point we'll schedule a transfer! I'm probably going to keep mums the word from here on out as I'm not quite sure who reads this blog these days.  Mom, if you're out there in the blogsphere being nosey and you know what I've been going through this far without telling us? Well, that stops here.  I don't think she reads this blog anymore which is why I've been so forth coming to this point, but just in case. We've kept this IVF portion of the journey from my parents just to be able to bring an element of surprise the day that we finally conceive.  I appreciate all the prayers and support from everyone more than you'll ever know. So please keep them coming and stay tuned for an update a few weeks from now :) Here's to hoping this will alllll be worth it VERY soon!

xo,

Andi 

Say hell to my "little" (ehhmmm) friend...

Hellloooooo Dildocam!! Bam, that'll get ya moving in the morning!!

#rude

Ya'll thought I was kidding when I told you this process was unpleasant, now you can see for yourselves. Ha!! My friend Meghan from Texas is literally on the exact same IVF protocol/cycle as me and is also going in on Saturday for her retrieval only an hour after me and sent me a pic the other day of her "Dildocam".  I just HAD to return the favor today while I was in for my final ultrasound. Her response, " Damn yours looks bigger than mine, I'm jealous! I think they accidentally gave you the black woman Dildo"....PAH! ... I die. She then proceeded to show her doctor who agreed it was huge & they both confirmed that it's quite rude they don't have the same amenities at her facility clinic. God love her & her humor. 

I cannot believe that I'm already taking my HCG shot tonight to trigger ovulation for exactly 7:30 on Saturday morning. It's amazing what endurance I've cooked up for myself through this process and I have to say although it hasn't been easy, I'm really proud of myself that I made it here. 11 days of sticking myself with needles and injectable hormones (32 eggies on the monitor today in my ovaries to be exact, woohoo!) so that's definitely a great response. My body has been put through the ringer, and I'm pretty proud of it. I now understand how women must feel who do have a baby. The human body is truly fascinating in regards to what it can endure. I'm now on the Gatorate 2 + 3 liters of fluid daily diet, which has flushed out the bloat significantly. I feel tired constantly, my left eye twitch is back and my belly feels like a bad menstrual cramp which will only get worse before it gets better.

11 days of stimulation meds have officially filled my Sharps. Later betches!!

bloat is mainly on my sides with a little poochy front, G2 to the rescue! Praise G it helps a TON

From day one I've been dreading the egg retrieval process but now that I'm 30 eggs deep, I cant WAIT to get them all out and begin to heal, recover and most importantly have two em-babies in my uterus this time next week !! :) Please pray that they burrow their sweet selves into my bod and make themselves at home. I'll take twins, I'll take a singleton, I'll gladly take a troll at this point. Dear God just please be busy up there working on our sweet little babe(s).

This is the part of the journey where it's about to get really exciting!!! I'm letting go from here, I've done my part of the process & all I can do is trust God. What's meant to be will be. 

IVF & PREGNANCY PLAYLISTS + UPDATE

Update: All is good friends, follicles are growing nicely {and plentiful, Lord help me from OHSS} and I have an expected date of retrieval being this Saturday! During the IVF class we joined when first beginning this journey the doc made a joke stating something to the effect of  "just don't be the ones that have to come in on the weekend b/c Anesthesia hates that" at which point I mumbled to Blair "oh great, that'll be me you just wait". Ummmm....woops! No egg is retrieved before it's ready folks. So sorry docs & CRNA's, you make a crap ton of money & you'll get over having to come in for an hour on a Saturday. K, thanks :)  The ER is the part I'm dreading the most even though I hear from friends and family who've gone through this that it's not as terrible as one would think. I'm not sure how legs up in surgery while a catheter is inserted into your uterus and two needles penetrate your ovaries that withdraw your eggs out for 20 mins isn't as terrible as one would think, but far be it from me to decide for all right?  Discomfort for 24 hours to follow the procedure but nothing debilitating in regards to pain control so I hope my experience is the same as theirs. I'm a control freak, so even conscious sedation (Versed + Fentanyl)  freaks me out. Working in pre-op with Anesthesia leaves me with a new hilarious story to bring home on the reg about the things people say and do under conscious sedation so perhaps I know too much. Seriously though, I don't trust what I'll say and do with my legs in the air for all to see while on drugs. Yikes! This too shall pass......

On another note, I reached out to my bestie Steph to help me brainstorm a playlist for the rest of this journey  {she used to send me mix CD's in the mail on the reg that were all the rage on my Road Warrior long drive days}. The meds take you on many ups and downs throughout the day so I needed a list to keep me in my "right mind" & to prep me on the ride to the egg retrieval where I know I'll be a panicked puss. Something to have to jam out to while waiting on the report two days following {which tells us what the embryo quality resulted in} the transfer, and the LONG nerve-wracking two week wait. This is just the thing. We put together a killer playlist so I thought I'd share it. It's sure to bring anyone strength & motivation to keep pushing forward through whatever they may be struggling with. We also put together a sweet tear jerker of a playlist for you preggo's out there in hopes that I'll be switching over to that playlist to follow! If you're in either category, take these for a test drive. Your welcome.....and feel free to comment & add to the list. Thanks!

"BREW THAT BABY" playlist    #forthosestruggling

{because she always has great CD titles} 

·  Sara Bareilles-  Brave

·  Pink- Try 
· David Guetta- Titanium 
· Journey- Don't Stop Believin'

·  Ingrid Michaelson - Be Ok

· Diana Ross - Aint No Mountain

·Tom Petty - I Wont Back Down

 · Jordan Sparks - Battlefield

·  Wilson Phillips - Hold On

· Miley Cyrus - The Climb

·   Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive

·  Elton John- I’m Still Standing

·  Destiny's Child- Survivor

·  Kanye West- Stronger

· Michael Buble- Haven’t Met You Yet

· Jordin Sparks- One Step At A Time

·   Des-ree- You Gotta Be

· Christina -Fighter

· Avril- Keep Holding On

·  Carrie Underwood- Jesus Take The Wheel

· Kellie Coffey- I Would Die For That

·  Celine Dion- A New Day

· Jason Mraz- I Wont Give Up

"MADE IT THROUGH THIS" playlist  #forthosepreggo

{for when I get to the other side}

· Christina Perry - A Thousand Years {I sing this one to myself daily}

· Colbie Callait- Capri

·George Strait- I Saw God Today

· Elton John- Blessed

·  Marc Cohn- The Things We've Been Handed own

·Ingrid Michaelson- Cant Help Falling In Love

· Christina Perry- Arms

· Aaron Lines- I Havent Even Heard You Cry
· Brittany Spears- My Baby 

xo,

 Andi

Blairleader

On hematoma mornings (thank you Cetrotide for being so thick & for hitting a vessel which NEVER happens, yet would happen to me), where you're abs have officially left you & your undies are saggy because your most comfortable in your grannies over thongs from 7 full two a days of injectables; everyone needs their best "Blair-leader". 

I cannot imagine going through this hogwash without him. 

No shame in my fat girl game folks, the shiz is REAL.

I cried. Everything I needed to hear at that exact moment.

Off to the doc to see how these follicles are looking. Wish me luck!

Xoxo,

Andi 

ALL CLEAR!

Well, 8/11 sure came fast!! After a quick girls get away in ATX last weekend where we soaked up girl sesh, wine tours in Hill Country, pool days and evenings eating fab TexMex, I AM READY TO GET THIS PARTY STARTED! I feel so refreshed and renewed and just... excited for this. Nervous, and anxious of course but I'm working on seeing those as mere emotions blowing through me like the wind that I'm only observing and not experiencing. A back seat to the chaos if you will. Call me crazy but it really works for me. 

Austin fun! 

Bailey, Baxter and Bella! My Austin babies <3

My besties son, Brayden. Sweetest thing since sliced bread!

Becker Vineyard in Austin, TX

Sometimes in life, the best medicine is a girls weekend, endless vino & lots of laughter! Yeeehaw!

I went in for my Day 3 U/S yesterday fully prepared and ready to handle whatever came my way and only heard "Your ovaries look young, fantastic & we are ready to go"! Well, I've never felt more flattered, thank you doc. So I was sent on my way! Last night as I was mixing my Menopur and Gonal F for the first time I noticed that the needle I was mixing with that was connected to the syringe was a 20G needle (ouch) and that there wasn't any small needles like the Gonal F needle (30G) that I used last month to administer the FSH. The med was already mixed in the syringe and ready to go & I thought "oh well, I guess this is the size I have to use tonight". As I went to put it in my lower belly to inject, the needle literally pinged off of me and didn't even come close to penetrating me. I immediately panicked. I mean, this syringe is loaded with like $2,000 worth of meds we pay out of pocket for & I'll be DAMNED if something goes wrong at 9p at night using a time sensitive drug that can throw off the entire course of this cycle. So, I called the nurses line and the nurse confirmed that my pharmacy should have mailed me 30G needles to use but that there's no time to alter that now & that I'm going to have to use some elbow grease to get it in subcutaneously. God love her, she was laughing chanting "abs of steal baby" while telling me to put the phone down and that she'd be there with me through it. Poor Blair was standing next to me starring wide eyed in horror, incapable of inflicting the pain on me when he saw it ping off me the first time. He pulled up Braveheart on YouTube in a last ditch effort to motivate. The scene was the one where he's in the forest stabbed by a sword in the gut. Lol!! A for effort.  In the end, I somehow jammed what needle is used to start an IV into my lower abdomen. Lets just say it didn't feel good, I'm bruised, and I have to do it one more time tonight before I get insulin needles to use from the doc office tomorrow. Rule # 1 of IVF people:  When your med box comes filled with everything you need for your treatment, LOOK FOR 30G NEEDLES!! Trust me, you'll thank me later. Sweet Lord. Gotta love nurses who are actually there for you at 9p to make you laugh and cheer you on though. 

I have a good feeling that this IVF process is going to be smoother sailing than the past year of IUI's. Aug 2013 to Aug 2014 has provided me with so many soul shaping, life changing and character building experiences that I truly believe have been laid out to prepare me for this very moment. Clear for take off folks. 

xoxo,

Andi

IVF Medications & their Side Effects

August marks the month this all begins, folks!! I'm honestly really excited to get everything started. I feel pretty prepared after doing my injectable/IUI cycle which helps to eliminate some nerves regarding mixing and injecting meds. I've had a full month off of meds & doctor appointments and I have never felt more like myself. Everything arrived yesterday for my IVF cycle this month and after getting organized with my mini pharmacy, I'm all ready for my baseline U/S and bloodwork on 8/11 in hopes to get this party started. I must admit, I'm dreading the hormonal garbage ahead. The extreme bloat, discomfort and weight gain from the follicle stimulating hormones are the worst of it for me & I can't say I'm excited about the anesthesia & egg retrieval part either {just when you think going under is exposing, imagine going under while naked with your legs up in the air!! eeeek!}. Nobody going through this is excited to have to go through it. We all just have to accept this is the card we've been dealt & the hand we have to play while making the best of it. I'm focused 100% on keeping my eye on the prize through this. I allow myself to daydream about all the positives and plan to completely assume pregnancy post transfer until otherwise notified. I figure "cautiously optimistic" will leave me with regrets & with the financial, physical and mental investment of IVF, there's no room for regrets.  Below are the list of the medications I'll be on & their side effects. Brace for impact! ;)

Cetrotide - Hot Flashes

Cetrotide is used during the early stages of IVF cycles in order to decrease a woman’s production of her naturally occurring reproductive hormones. This sends the body into a post-menopausal state. Cetrotide rapidly decreases estrogen, which can cause moodiness. Other side-effects are insomnia and hot flashes (yikes, I have these normally!!). It's important for one to remember that the side-effects are a temporary and normal part of a really wonderful process.

Follicle Stimulating Hormones (FSH) / GONAL F + Menopur and an Expanding Waistline 

The purpose of FSH is to help the body release as many eggs as possible in a single month. During my injectable/IUI cycle, my body expanded so rapidly that some of my clothes would not fit me after only a few days. God bless wearing scrubs for a living!! Bloating, weight gain, and mood swings are the most common side-effects of FSH. The mood swings can be attributed to the medication, which is causing estrogen to rise rapidly. When the body makes an egg on its own, the estrogen level is around 200. On FSH, the body’s estrogen level is in the thousands. Feelings (and looks) of abnormal heaviness come from enlarged ovaries. Ovaries are normally about the size of walnuts (approximately 2cm). But during an injectable cycle, thanks to FSH, they become the size of a plum, and then a grapefruit, and possibly even bigger. Although closely monitored during my last cycle I produced too many & overstimualted, luckily "too many" isn't a bad thing when doing IVF.

Hyperstimulation

I am pretty afraid of this one & praying this doesn't happen to me during this IVF cycle. In about 2% of women, FSH will trigger OHSS, where excessive fluid from the ovaries leaks into the abdominal cavity causing extreme bloating (we’re talking 5-10lbs per day), nausea, and shortness of breath. There are different levels of severity for OHSS: mild, moderate, and severe. If you experience only mild or moderate hyperstimulation, the symptoms will be less noticeable, and easier to control. It was hard for me to roll over in bed at night and hard to take a deep breath during my overstimulated cycle, so this one definitely scares me. In severe cases, the excess fluid is drained from the ovaries while the patient is sedated (paracentesis). Please pray that this doesn't happen!

Novarel

Novarel is used to stimulate egg release (ovulation) and is taken subcutaneously 36 hours, on the dot, prior to egg retrieval. Basically all of these hormones are mimicking the bodies natural hormones that ones has when conceiving naturally. Since IVF picks up at the uterine/implantation portion of the pregnancy process, all of the natural hormones that take place during the follicular phase and even into the early stages of pregnancy in the fallopian tubes have to be mimicked. Fascinating right? I used to be so "anti-pharma" until this process. Maybe i'll leave medical device sales & get into the pharma sales/Reproductive Endocrinology sector of the world. Lord knows I now believe in them. 

Progesterone- Moody and Bloated

During an IVF or FET cycle, it is necessary to take the progesterone injections for ten weeks post-transfer in order to create a more robust uterine lining for the growing baby. Progesterone causes moodiness/edginess, bloating (usually at least a few pounds-worth) and heartburn, but can be minimized with lots of fluid, fiber, and antacids. Progesterone injections can also make the body a little sore, and it may be uncomfortable to walk for a little while after each injection, but the discomfort does go away. It is also normal for the injection to create lumps under the skin near the injection site. Awesome. Bring on the lumpy booty baby! 

The Ultimate Side Effect, Pregnancy!

I am believing with all of my heart that these side effects will alllll be worth it when I get to finally hear the words "You're pregnant!!" from my favorite nurses at the fertility clinic. This journey is nothing like the norm, so I plan to take you all through it with me. The good, bad and ugly baby! I know you're all sending prayers, love and good thoughts our way & for that I can't thank you enough. The support from friends and family who know what we're going through is very appreciated. 

xoxo,

Andi